Living away from home for college is supposed to feel like freedom, and it does. But it’s also confusing in ways no one really prepares you for. Managing family expectations while trying to embrace your college freedom is honestly a full-time job, one I’ve been doing since day one of university. And I’ve realised something slightly terrifying, that this isn’t a phase. It’s probably something I’ll be figuring out forever.
Living Away, But Never Really Away
Life doesn’t move in a straight line. It keeps throwing obstacles at you while you’re simultaneously trying to maintain your GPA, show up socially, and pretend you have your life together. Some days you’re dodging deadlines, other days it’s emotional guilt, and most days, it’s both. It’s not just me; a survey found that over 60% of college students report being stress about balancing academic demands with their personal or family life. Suddenly blowing off plans because you have to study feels less dramatic and more… existential.
The “Best Friend” Mom Dilemma
I’ve always been extremely close to my mother. She’s not just my mom, she’s genuinely my best friend. People say that’s a blessing, and it is, but it also comes with its own emotional fine print. When you’re used to telling someone everything, suddenly not doing that feels… wrong.
Every night, I FaceTime her and tell her about my day. Every detail. The good, the boring, and the dramatic. So on the nights when I’m too exhausted to call, when my social battery is completely drained and all I want to do is lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, the guilt creeps in immediately. She never pressures me. Not once. But I pressure myself because I’m so used to sharing everything with her. It’s a strange feeling wanting space while also missing the comfort of routine conversations.
Being “Close Enough” to Be Expected Home
Since I’m from Mumbai, which is relatively close to campus, my family expects me to come home often. Family events, gatherings, functions, random “just come for the weekend” plans. And honestly, I love going home. I really do. But it can also get exhausting.
At the same time, my friends complain that I’m barely on campus. Honestly, they’re not wrong. I miss out on so many spontaneous plans, random dinners, late-night conversations, and moments that make college life what it is. Then my guilt creeps in. Guilt for not being present enough with friends. Guilt for choosing home. Guilt for choosing campus. Basically, feeling guilty no matter what I choose.
The Constant Act of Choosing
The hardest part is realising you can’t be everywhere at once. You have to choose. And sometimes, no choice feels completely right. There are weekends when I’m home wishing I were on campus, and days on campus when I miss home a little too much.
But slowly, I’m learning that it’s not about choosing one life over the other. It’s about choosing moments wisely. Understanding that some days are meant for family, and some days are meant for friends. And some days are meant just for yourself, even if that feels uncomfortable at first.
Freedom With Roots Attached
Despite all of this, I wouldn’t trade this balance for anything. College has given me a sense of freedom I never had before. The freedom to explore, to grow, to make mistakes, and to figure out who I am. But my family keeps me grounded. They remind me where I come from, who I am at my core, and what truly matters beyond deadlines and social plans.
Being stuck between these two lives can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a privilege. To have people who care enough to miss you on both sides. To have a home that welcomes you back and a campus that feels like another version of it.
Maybe this push and pull never really ends. Maybe you just get better at navigating it. And for now, I’m learning to be okay with the messiness of it all. Because growing up was never supposed to be clean or easy anyway.