A toxic relationship rarely begins as toxic. It often starts with excitement, attention, and chase. However, it’s not long before you start seeing red flags, lack of support, conflict, and miscommunication. These relationships are generally characterised by factors that might harm only one individual or both partners in a relationship. Essentially, they can be characterised by red flags, impulsive behaviour, and a controlling outlook. Depending on the level of toxicity, they can really impact and damage one’s mental health and overall psychological functioning. Hence, it is imperative to recognise the signs of a toxic relationship.
Too much or too little
Everything in life requires balance. Whether it’s balancing school work and extracurriculars or college assignments and going out. Balance is the key to long-lasting efficiency and withstanding burnout. The same goes for relationships. If an individual is too invested in a relationship, they can come across as overdoing it, which tends to overwhelm the other person. Hence, when the other person feels overwhelmed, they could distance themselves from their partner. If this turns into a pattern, it can be called the “push and pull effect”. A technique where you give it all, but then suddenly take it all away.
If this happens, your partner could freak out and perhaps unknowingly start becoming more invested which could cause tension and create fights. The same goes for showing little interest as that too could create conflict. Hence, there must be a balance. Essentially, being too invested or not invested enough can pave the way for an unhealthy, toxic relationship.
CONTROL
A relationship involves two people and hence both their feelings and schedules should be taken into consideration. If one individual tends to just succumb and give in to the other, who always prioritises themselves first rather than coming to a mutual understanding, then this teaches the second individual that they can take their partner for granted. In this case, the second individual tends to become the one in charge of the relationship and sometimes if this gets extreme, it can lower the other’s confidence and self esteem. This creates a power imbalance which can cause one partner to become controlling and demanding.
GHOSTING
Ghosting refers to suddenly ending a relationship with someone without any explanation.This can also happen when everything seems to be going fine and the other individual just stops communication and goes M.I.A for a while. While this in itself is not the best approach as it can be damaging to both parties, it gets worse if an individual does this and comes back without an explanation and continues to do it. This creates a cycle of disappearing without any warning
and returning without any explanation. This leaves the partner in uncertainty and fear regarding the other person leaving. This can create instability and make individuals wary of upcoming relationships in which they might unintentionally start exhibiting the same behaviour towards others.
dependency
In a relationship, both individuals have some sort of dependency on the other. When this dependency causes the individual to put others needs above themselves, it can be draining and exhausting. One should not constantly try to please someone else and put them on a pedestal.
MISUSE OF GUILT
In every relationship, there are mistakes and issues which might make certain individuals feel guilty. But when an individual keeps bringing up past mistakes to guilt-trip the other into doing something, it can become toxic and partly controlling. For example, an individual missed their partner’s birthday and did not return their calls. Two years later, the partner is still using that to guilt-trip the individual. Statements like “you didn’t come for my birthday, now you have to do this”, “I expected this from you, you didn’t even come for my birthday”. If reinforced and repeated, it can be indicative of a relationship turning manipulative, toxic, and controlling.
TO CONCLUDE
Since toxic relationships can have such a drastic impact on us mentally and psychologically, it is important to recognise the signs of a toxic relationship to get out of one and heal as a person. Many times, individuals are so accustomed to these relationships that the toxicity is normalised, and hence they fail to understand the damage that these relationships pose. If these signs match your relationship, then it is advisable for you to reconsider whether or not this relationship is really meant for you.
