Bright lights above me, my body laid down, with all kinds of tools surrounding me… and no this isn’t the beginning scene of a horror movie.
This was my situation two years ago at just 18 years old, ready to go from a AA bra size to what would hopefully be a decent and plump C cup. You’d think I’d have at least one strand of fear in my body, but nope! I had never felt more prepared for this life changing experience.
A Little Back Story
My journey dates back all the way to fifth grade when I got my period… and yes, you heard it right, only fifth grade. While the experience was a bit traumatizing, on the bright side, period = puberty, which = growing boobs. However, mother nature along with some family genes decided I was meant to skip that stage of my life and leave me with just period cramps, troublesome acne and a flat chest. Gotta love puberty, right? And so, the journey of my body insecurities and padded bras (shout out to Victoria’s Secret!) begun.
The Decision
It was a no brainer, I booked the appointment. With the support of my family and just enough savings in my bank account, I crossed off the days as the date got closer, anxiety and excitement oozing over me! Now I know plastic surgery is surrounded by a whole lot of controversy, but this was my reasoning: I woke up every day feeling a lack of femininity and an immense lack of confidence. No matter your age, you want to feel beautiful and sexy and I wasn’t comfortable in my own body to even say those words, let alone feel them. The day of the surgery came and went, and so did the tears. What have I done? They’re too big! Too unnatural! I want my body back. But my doctor warned me for the emotional rollercoaster to come and heck, it was. It took quite some time to accept my body and the new additions. And even then, why did I still feel as if I was covered in flaws? My insecurities turned to my blemished skin and untoned legs, and practically any detail I could find in myself that made me unhappy. Although my new boobs did boost my confidence, it didn’t mend my insecurities.
The Outcome
Fast forward to some years later and in present time, no part of me regrets my decision for cosmetic surgery. I can proudly say, I love my fake boobs! With the right doctor and appropriate size, I feel comfortable knowing I made the right decision. The part I do regret, is having the mindset it would heal all my self-doubts. Thinking plastic surgery would change my life, when it didn’t. I changed my own life when I decided I was no longer going to try and fit into the unreachable standards I had set for myself.
I stopped giving in to pressure, and I started living.
Cover: http://cafemocharadio.com/2017/07/13/what-its-like-for-your-partner-when…