Table for One: How to Take Yourself on a Solo Date Without Feeling Sad

The internet makes “dating yourself” seem effortless, with montages and 30-second clips. The creator is playing jazzy music and giving you the play-by-play of their refreshing and carefree solo day. 

In reality, it is more nerve-wracking and overwhelming than it looks. You go to a busy restaurant, seeing everyone with someone or a party starts making you feel exposed. This leads you to spend the rest of dinner on your phone, thinking the check can’t come quick enough. 

In order to have a successful solo date, you must first understand that they are not all fulfilled equally. You should not be forcing yourself into a packed social environment and crossing your fingers. It would be better to choose a low-stakes, frequently moving environment where being solo is the advantage. 

If you’re interested in a solo date minus the “lonely” anxiety, I am going to give you 3 solo date ideas that will get you acquainted with “dating” yourself.  

Bookstore with a coffee run

My personal favorite. 

Going to a restaurant alone can warrant unwanted looks. At the bookstore, the whole point is to be alone and in your own world. 

Find the nearest bookstore and make sure to grab a coffee, put your phone on DND, and commit to wandering around. Try looking in sections you usually skip. Take a few books off the shelf and read some chapters to see if it is going home with you. This gives you a quiet, self-guided, and low-stakes solo date. 

Mid-Day Movie Hit

Going to the movies alone is the best move; anyone who has done this will likely defend it. 

Pick a movie that catches your interest, or not, and try something new. The theatre is quiet and dark, so no need to worry about wandering eyes. The best part is choosing your seats and what you want to eat without needing to debate or agree with someone else. You can walk out and process the film, and take as long as you need on your own terms. 

Farmers Market and Headphones

Keep tabs on your local pop-up markets, and go to the next one!

Go early and grab a pastry or coffee for your stroll, and don’t forget your headphones. Buy some flowers and arrange your own floral gift with a pretty vase, or purchase some new clothes and small business knick-knacks. This provides you with the outdoors and a social environment minus the pressure to really socialize. In this solo date, you can move at your own pace to the beat of your own music. 

Ground rules

Don’t doomscroll and keep tabs on what everyone else is doing. Dress for yourself and not for the crowd you will be around; comfortability is key. Also, give yourself a timeframe; wandering around can get restless. Most importantly, have fun and stay in the moment!

• #college life
• dates
• solo dates