Many of you already know about the unfortunate and intolerable actions that have occurred within our university. I am not here to talk to you about the facts, but about what can be done to help put an end to this behavior. Last Wednesday, the Panhellenic Council paired up with FIU’s Interfraternity Council, Multicultural Greek Council, the It’s On Us Campaign, Gender for Women’s Studies and the Victim Empowerment Program to bring keynote speaker, Bonny Shade to share her story. In Bonny’s sophomore year of college, a particular event changed her life and her understanding of what the words “sexual assault” mean. Someone that she considered her best friend turned on her in the worst way possible. After seven years of feeling ashamed of what happened, she realized that she is a survivor and she is stronger because of it. Bonny has dedicated her life to help empower other women to speak up and have the necessary conversation of what is right and wrong. I sat in on her keynote and was just amazed by how her confidence exuded through the audience as she spoke up about how you can be that change the world needs to see.
I had the pleasure to sit down and facetime her to fully grasp what needs to be done to help put an end to sexual assault. It is all about collaborations with different organizations on campus and working together because you share the common goal to end this behavior. It takes a village to make a change; you may want to make an impact, but you think you can’t because you are just one person. That is when you look to your left and right to find that there are people just like you fighting the fight to end sexual assault. Remember, that it is NOT a performative allyship, but more of taking action to stand up for what you believe in. Actions speak louder than words, and that is what is going to show people that you can make an effective change.
The best and most important thing you can do is to educate yourself on the topic at hand. Society has placed this stigma that how girls are dressed or how they act defines whether or not they are “asking for it.” In NO WAY does that give someone the right to touch you or make you feel uncomfortable. Clothes are used as a form of expression and should only be seen that way. How a person asks does not give consent either; Consent is when the personal VERBALLY says yes and are sober doing so. It is all about having these conversations with your partner and ensuring that you are on the same page. We associate certain meanings with the words sexual assault and rape; it is on us to break those barriers and speak openly about this issue. The conversation does not have to be uncomfortable or vulgar, but more of an understanding of what is ok and what is going too far. Knowledge is power and you have the power to speak up for yourself and be the voice that matters.
The last thing that I want to put the most emphasis on is, in no way is it your fault. I asked Bonny that if she could go back to her sophomore self, what she would say and she said that those four little words. It may not seem like saying that could make a difference in someone’s life, but I can assure you that it does. After going through a trauma like that, the only thing that they can focus on is “what did I do?” and the answer is nothing. You did nothing to deserve this and I wish that I could erase or take back that awful memory. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are a diamond in the rough and most importantly, you are a survivor. You will get through this because you have people speaking out to ensure that this stops now!
With the recent events against a certain organization on campus, I decided that I will not stand for it. Everyone can make a change, it’s about the actions that you take to be that change. Bonny Shade is the perfect example of how empowered women can empower women. It’s the little things that can make such a great impact. Don’t think of yourself as just one voice, but as an additional voice to stop sexual assault. It’s on us to spread the word, educate people and advocate for those who can’t. Be that change you wish to see in the world and by you taking that first step, who knows how many people will follow in your footsteps. The largest of fires starts from a tiny spark, and that same potential is within you!