In life, there will be people who– in some way or another, will hurt you emotionally. It may be unintentional or the intentions may be clear. Sometimes it’s even the people you least expect to hurt you that tend to do you wrong. It’s that feeling of your heart sinking to the pit of your stomach, or amongst your stillness, there beats your heart at a tempo you’ve never felt before. We tend to go through a period of disbelief, the disbelief that someone you care about so deeply could do something so unimaginable. It is important to remember that we are human and it is okay to feel the way we feel. Our feelings are valid, period.
Forgiving someone for their actions could be one of the hardest things you may have to ever do, depending on the severity of what they’ve done. Speaking from personal experience, I was hurt by someone I love at a very young age. Its taken me nearly 10 years to find it in my heart to forgive that person, and I’m unsure if I can wholeheartedly say that I’ve fully forgiven them yet. You can’t put a timeline on emotional healing, just know that it’s okay to take your time, but also remember that it is still important to forgive.
Forgiveness doesn’t come with an instructional manual, though I wish it did, so it’s difficult to tell someone how to forgive or even give advice on the subject. What I can tell you though, is that it is so important to forgive that person who did you wrong, even if they don’t verbally apologize or feel remorseful at all. It is also vital to understand that if someone is trying to apologize, it means they have understood the fact that they have hurt you, now you need to acknowledge the fact that they are taking a step towards mending the situation– regardless of whether or not you think their approach was sufficient. You need to forgive them, not for them, but for yourself and for your own well being. I’ve learned that at the end of the day when you just try to forgive someone you walk away from the situation feeling so much better, there is a lesser chance of that awkward tension when you see them or the pain you felt after.
It’s not “forgive and forget” it’s forgiving and move forward for yourself….
Xoxo,
Learning to Forgive.