Big and little week can bring out the worst in people, let’s be honest. The trick is to stay focused on what’s important, and not on who’s “cool.” Being thrown into this new world of rules, activities, socials and sisterhood can be a lot to take in, but the part that seems to be the hardest is picking a big sister.
It can be confusing thinking about one specific sister that you want to look up to not just for the next four years, but for life. The pressure gets real when you have a bunch of sisters texting you and trying to get to know you, and you’re trying to figure who’s being genuine and who’s not.
When picking your big there’s usually two main things you think about: will she be my best friend, or will she be someone I go to when I need guidance? Many people tend to think these things are the same, but it depends in which aspects you’re looking at it. Your big does NOT have to be your best friend in the entire world. Would it be nice if she was? Yes, but she does not have to be in order to play the role well. This is the main thing that girls should take into consideration because you’re not picking a best friend, you’re picking someone to look up to and that will be your voice of reason in all situations. You’re big should set the example for you on how to uphold and respect your chapter before and after your initiation.
When making your list, the one thing you should always keep in mind is to be selfish. This list, this decision, is 100% yours and it should not be something you let others take from you. Forget all the whispers, rumors and gossip you might have heard before that moment. Don’t let your thoughts be consumed with who you know may want you as a little. Everyone else’s words should not influence you in anyway. Where a lot of girls go wrong is that they tend to go with those who want them as a little but don’t actually want to play the role of a big sister. Don’t choose someone because you “know” they want you. If the choice is yours, make sure to own it. You can’t let everyone tell you what they think is best for you. At the end of the day, no one knows you better than yourself. This process isn’t about being scared of hurting someone’s feelings, or having too many options to pick from… it’s about turning around on the day of reveal and hugging someone that you know from that moment on will always be a guiding light in your life.
Being sure of your decision can be tough, but you don’t want to have any regrets either. You’re not meant to be perfect and know the answers to every question, but you do need to be level headed in order to make your pick. It’s not rocket science but it can be a tough decision and no one can judge you for that. It’s okay to be confused, it’s okay to not be completely sure, and it’s also okay to want someone that maybe one of your pledge sisters wants also. It’s YOUR choice. See past the superficial, look for the deeper meaning in a solid foundation and you will see who cares about you and who only cares about the idea of you. Don’t let yourself fall into a situation where you will be a temporary figure in someone’s life, base your decision on someone who will never let you go through anything in life alone. You were home the moment you walked into your first sorority recruitment party, your organization proved it with a bid, so don’t sell yourself short in this decision. You have an idea of who you want to be to your organization and the things you plan to do, look for that in your big. You want someone that will teach you the values and ritual of your organization, exemplify all its beauty, uphold it and teach you to carry on its legacy with ease.
Photo: Alina M. Photography Studios