Dating in college can be hard. Sometimes it’s difficult to know where to start and how to approach certain people and situations. I’m sure most of us have had our fair share of humbling experiences when it comes to this topic, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from trying again until you get it right. Dating is a constant series of trial and error, it’s never going to be perfect and things are not always going to go in the direction that you may want them to go in, but it’s totally okay. Here are a few tips to make your dating experience better.
Don’t Be Afraid to Make the First Move
Making the first move can be nerve-racking because there is no guarantee that you’re going to get the result that you want. When making the first move, you relinquish your control and give the power to the person you’re pursuing, which can feel scary at first. The feeling of regret is much worst. You never know if you never try, and as a wise man once said, “You miss 100% of the shots that you DON’T take.” In college, there are multiple opportunities to approach someone you may be interested in, whether you see them at a party, a sports event, the library, or other random places on campus, so don’t miss your opportunity! When making the first move, in person or virtually, it’s always best to start with a greeting. A simple “Hi, how are you?” may get you far, but starting the conversation with a compliment may get you even farther. Whatever your preference for approaching someone you may be interested in, always remain respectful and kind, be yourself and prepare yourself to accept the outcome whether it is favorable to you or not.
Figure out your Likes and Dislikes
Dating is a huge learning process, and with every person, you meet you should take time to learn about yourself as well. Figure out what types of people you like, what kind of dates you like, and what kind of treatment you find acceptable or unacceptable. All of these things are important when dating, while you are getting to know new people it’s also a good time to get to know yourself better as well. There may be times when something happens to you that has never happened to you before, it is beneficial to take a step back and ask yourself: “Do I like this, and is this okay with me?” Pay attention to what gives you the ick versus what turns you on, never ignore anything that you may deem as a red flag, it’ll come back to bite you later and remember to trust your intuition! Likes and dislikes are all a part of your personal preference, learning them and knowing them can save you lots of time and energy when deciding who you should take seriously and who you shouldn’t.
Communicate Effectively
Communication is key to maintaining relationships. Many things can end badly due to a lack of communication and many things can be fixed by having a simple conversation. While dating, it’s important to communicate your love languages, intentions, and feelings with the person or people that you are currently pursuing. It is also important to listen when they communicate the same notions to you. If you’re confused about something; ask. And if someone does something you don’t like, let them know first before immediately dropping them for it. Most of the time lots of the conflicts we have in relationships are a matter of miscommunication or misinterpretation. Communicating your boundaries is also a part of healthy communication. As you communicate your boundaries, pay attention to how someone reacts. If they are receptive and respectful of them, that is a good sign, if they try to diminish them in any way, then you should probably run for the hills. As college students we have so much on our plate and so many things to think about that having someone wasting your time isn’t worth it. When you communicate effectively set yourself up for the possibility of a healthy relationship built on healthy foundations and you can also save yourself a heartbreak later on down the line.
Explore your Options
When dating in college, it may be beneficial to keep things casual in the beginning. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, until you know for sure that you are ready for that type of commitment. Don’t set expectations too early in the game, just enjoy the moment and let things happen naturally, but don’t wait around forever. When you explore your options, you give yourself time to think about what you may or may not want with someone. There is nothing wrong with dating casually until you find someone that you feel fits your criteria. More important than anything is just to have fun and be safe, enjoy being single, enjoy dating around and don’t take anything too serious until you’re ready!