Consent is the permission given to do something. We practice consent every day, even for something as small as letting someone use your pencil in class. The idea of consent is a simple one. However, there are many situations where consent becomes blurred. It’s important to know how consent is applied in the different situations we encounter (romantically, sexually, etc.) and how to handle them.
Let’s take a deeper look into what consent looks like in different situations.
What does consent look like if we’ve been dating for a while?
Let’s say you have been dating your significant other for 2 years. In those two years, you have been sexually active with each other. Does this mean you don’t need to ask for consent anymore? Absolutely not. Expressed consent should be given each time you engage in sexual activity with your partner no matter how long you have been dating.
What does consent look like when it comes to flirting?
Flirting with someone you are interested in is not a problem. However, persistent and unwanted flirting is an issue. Based on how someone reciprocates to your advances you can infer whether they are interested or not.
What if they said yes while under the influence?
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Someone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol is not in the mindset to give consent. A clear and coherent mindset is needed to give consent.
What if they are wearing revealing clothing?
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A revealing outfit does not imply consent. Just because someone is dressed in a certain way does not mean they are an open invitation for sexual advances. Being dressed in a certain way does not mean they are consenting.
What if they said yes and then changed their mind?
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Consent can be retractable. If someone consents to something and then changes their mind, respect their wishes.
What if they said yes in the beginning?
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Consent should be ongoing. Just because someone says yes to one thing, doesn’t mean they are saying yes to all things. Always ask before.
What if they are not verbally saying no?
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Take a look at their expressions. Take a look at their body language. Do they look uncomfortable? Ask yourself these questions and wait for verbal consent. You can never be too sure.
While the idea of consent is not rocket science, not everyone practices it. Therefore, the importance of consent is something that we should all be practicing and advocating for.