Breakups are far from easy, but they are necessary steps to grow and mature. Many times we are left crushed and confused, emotionally drained from the relationship, and from our significant other. Breaking up, though not painless, can be simplified using these tips that can help you to grieve and move on more easily.
1. Understand your concerns about the relationship. Often, I’ve found that going through negative moments in my relationships helped me understand and find red flags. Did he make subtle hints of his intentions? Did he make me feel disrespected at times? Going back on memories have helped make my decision to end a relationship much easier and later help me find what I would like in the next relationship.
2. Do not linger on it more than two weeks. If you’re considering ending a relationship, do not allow yourself to give it more time than it needs to end. The faster it’s done the sooner you will be to finding your happiness. Give yourself at most two weeks to end a relationship, that way you can plan for when and how you will end it.
3. Never break up through text. As easy as it might be to dump someone through text, imagine the times you’ve been dumped through text. Give your significant other the same respect you would want them to give you (even if they don’t deserve it, be the bigger person). Text messages could be easily misunderstood, so a simple “I think we are better off as friends” can take on a meaning that you never intended it to have. Breaking up in person, or over the phone if you prefer, would be much clearer and to the point.
4. Use “I” statements. “I” statements help avoid putting blame on the other person and will allow them to state how they feel without feeling attacked.
5. Be direct and honest. You are just as human as your significant other, and you shouldn’t feel as though you cannot directly express how you feel. You can give details but I would avoid going into an in-depth description. By giving the main points on what caused you to feel this way you will be able to help your soon-to-be-ex significant other learn from their mistakes and hopefully grow from the breakup as well.
6. Avoid constant contact with your ex. You won’t be helping either of you by constantly contacting them. Everyone gets over relationships in their own way, and you should allow your ex to have the time and space to get over you as much as you would like the same respect for you to get over them.
7. Remember you are strong independent woman, who does not need a man or woman to define who they are. You deserve nothing less than what you are worth and with time, everything will fall into place.