Real Talk: Ghosting Isn't Cool and We Need to Stop Doing It

The biggest trend in dating amongst millennials is ghosting. If you didn’t already know, ghosting is when a person cuts off all communication with someone they're casually dating, or as us millennials call it, “talking to,” with zero warning or notice before hand. So what they do is talk to someone for a few days or weeks, never proceed with the plan to meet, and then ghost if they’re not interested or are too afraid of the uncertainty of a potential new relationship.

But what people usually don’t talk about is ghosting farther down the line, whether it be in relationships or even friendships. Ghosting is obviously more common after a first date or before that date even happens, but people often push off ending the relationship because they get scared on how to admit their feelings and they subsequently ghost someone. Whether it be with a friend or with a partner, losing someone is never easy, especially when it is completely out of your control and you wonder what went wrong.

On a more personal note, at the end of last year, I started dating someone I really saw a future with. I was the happiest I had ever been with someone and felt that we were both ready to open up the conversation about becoming official. After almost 3 months of talking, and hanging out almost every other day, he stopped answering me out of nowhere. 

I don’t know where things changed, I don’t know how I missed it. I beat myself up over it for months and if I’m being 100% honest, I still wonder what happened between us. I would rather have had him tell me he didn’t see a future with me or straight up didn’t want to see me anymore than to leave me with nothing. I’ll never know what he was thinking and I have to live with that but the longer time has passed, the more I think that I don’t really miss him, I miss the feeling I had when we were together. And I know I’ll find that again someday.

I think the lesson here is to be honest. Be raw and be real no matter how much you don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings or if you think it’ll be easier to just pretend it never happened. That person will appreciate your honesty and respect you that much more if you just tell them how you’re feeling. Our generation needs to stop with this vicious cycle of not looking out for each other, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.