If someone told me that I was going to be in a long distance relationship during my first year of college, I would have been shocked. If they told me that it was going to happen while I was living in New York City, I wouldn’t believe a single word that would come out of their mouth. There’s always one piece of advice that either your Aunt at Christmas dinner or your coworker that eavesdrops will give you before moving to college: don’t go into your first year of college in a relationship. This simple sentence went in one ear and out the other after my girlfriend and I decided to keep dating even though she lives 1,130 miles away. After being away from her for almost two months, I have learned a few things along the way.
1. Plan a date that you are going to see each other so there is something to look forward to
When there is a day in mind that you will get to see each other next, it can make the time fly by. My girlfriend really likes having a countdown because it is something exciting that she can keep track of. As the date coms closer, you can plan phone calls when packing or make a list of things to do when you see each other.
2. Understand that the other person may be busy and has other things going on in their lives
It’s normal to be busy once you start college and it’s important to understand that both people in the relationship have separate lives while they live in different places. This makes communication and speaking up when you feel forgotten very important. To make time for each other, you can share your calendar and let them know what days you are busy. This will make it easier if you are in different time zones and need to find a time to Facetime. This also ensures that you won’t call them when they aren’t home or when they are in a class.
3. View this time as a way to strengthen your relationship
As the old saying goes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and this is especially true when you aren’t able to see your significant other as often as you’d like. It is proven that distance can make you appreciate people more and recent research proves that a lot of the time it can improve intimacy. In the end, all this time away from each other will seem worth it
4. Do things together even from far away and share experiences
There are so many ways to do things together with your significant other nowadays. You can do things together online or do similar activities so you can talk about them later. If you watch a show that you liked, recommend it so both of you can talk about it later. If you did something exciting that day, you should share what was most interesting so not only can they feel like they were there with you but they might feel motivated to do the same activity. My girlfriend and I have been watching the show, The Haunting of Bly Manor and we only watch the episodes together so it’s one thing we can share.
5. Stay positive
Even though the time away from each other can be hard to cope with, there are so many advantages that come with doing a long distance relationship. Staying together with the person you love can be something in your life that really makes you happy. It’s important to remind yourself why you are doing this and to talk about the future as a motivator. Remind yourself and your partner why you love each other to keep an optimistic attitude.
Despite the idea that dating in college is seen as taboo; if staying with your boyfriend or girlfriend will make you happy, then long distance might be for you. By keeping a positive attitude and a good balance of communication, it’s definitely possible to be in love even if you are hundreds of miles away from each other.