I won’t pretend to know what real love is since it hasn’t happened for me…yet. But what I do know is what we see in movies, TV, or books isn’t necessarily an accurate depiction of what true love is and these fictional couples tend to skew our expectations of love. Having said that, these fictional couples are the reasons why we feel like love is out there. While their idea of love may be skewed there is a lot that we can learn from them as well as the different forms of love that there are. So between binge watching your favorite TV shows or pulling an all-nighter to finish our favorite book, we should stop and reflect on what we can take away from these couples and what exactly is it that gives us hope for the future.
Which brings us to our first couple: Hayley and Nathan of the fan favorite show One Tree Hill. We all LOVE this couple, but it is easy to see that they jumped into things way too fast. Many times the maturity that fictional relationships illustrate just doesn’t translate into real life. While it’s easy to romanticize this kind of relationship, the reality is that most high school and college-age guys and girls are not in that place emotionally yet. This doesn’t mean that we can’t find real love now or find someone that will be “our person”, but we have to cut ourselves some slack and realize it’s not as simple as it seems on screen.
A couple that was able to make their relationship work at a young age was Lily and Marshall of How I Met Your Mother. This couple has been together since college and it seems as though they fell in love instantly. You can feel a connection and be drawn to someone, but to know immediately that this is the person you are meant to be with is rare. Their dedication to one another is something that many of us aspire to have in our lives, someone that you can always count on.
Likewise, Monica and Chandler of Friends is a couple many aspire to be. People fall in love with their best friend after getting to know them all the time. At first a guy or girl might just be someone you are close to and not really romantically attracted to. However, after spending time together you might realize that all the things that you look for in a loving relationship are there and they are suddenly looking a little ~sexier~ to you.
A person’s actions speak volumes and show way more than money can buy. Jim and Pam of The Office are perfect examples of that selfless love, a love that needs nothing else involved other than the two of them. We all know that love has nothing to do with material things and everything to do with the strength of emotional bonds. To me, grand gestures of the monetary sort are disheartening and not what love is about. A guy who will bring me chicken soup when I have a cold or gets up early to scrape ice off of my car are ways that make me feel like he’s thinking of me first and I’m important to him. Putting the other person first and wanting what is best for them even though you may not agree or it might not be the best for you, I believe is the foundation of real love.
Just remember, there are so many facets to a relationship including initial attraction, chemistry, common interests, similar moral values, spending time together and having fun, as well as being together doing nothing and still being just as happy. There is no right way of finding the right person, and just remember we’re young and have our whole lives in front of us. Go out there and have fun!