One collegiette’s discovery of the complete range of the species that is the Tinder Male
Prior to last year, my romantic experience was limited to countless unrequited crushes and one first love. I had dipped my feet into the devil’s water, as The Killers would say, but I then stepped back to recover from the resulting head rush and heartbreak. In January I downloaded Tinder and began the first of four hilarious, tumultuous seasons of swiping left and right. In the past year, I met up with multiple guys and each experience brought new light to my perception of the male, and very specifically, to the Tinder Male.
Winter: Mini Jack
When I got to Fairfield for the spring semester, a few nights of townhouse parties brought me back to that place of losing hope in finding a guy the old-fashioned way (drunken DFMO – Dance Floor Make Out). I decided to meet up with a guy I’d been talking to on Tinder who was a year below me and a five-minute walk from my townhouse. From the beginning I knew Jack was not a very nice person, so I had no interest in him as more than a guy I met on Tinder. His rudeness caught up to me however, when I invited him to a party from which he then brought another girl home. I told him how disrespected I felt, he called me crazy and desperate for commitment, and I cut off communication.
Spring: Creepy Chris
After Jack, I persevered and gave the Tinder Male, another chance. I first met up with Chris after a particularly stressful day and spending time with him was an incredible stress reliever. We didn’t have much in common, but he was nice enough and I really enjoyed hanging out with him. However, one night I texted him saying I thought he was a bit too forward and woke up to an uncalled for explicit video. After a few weeks of ignoring his apology texts, I decided to give him another chance, and we texted all summer. I was really looking forward to seeing him again at school, but at the end of August he Instagrammed a picture with his…..girlfriend. I confronted him and he admitted he was in a relationship, so I cut him off. Since coming back, I’ve received the occasional text when his relationship is “on the rocks”. Creepy Chris is persistent, but I’ve maintained a clear stance of girlfriend = not interested.
Summer: Two-Timing Thomas
The third guy I met on Tinder ended up being the lowest possible end of the spectrum of the Tinder Male. I had matched with Thomas over winter break and talked a little but stopped once I went back to school. I got a message about once a month all semester and then reached out to him when I came home for the summer. We instantly connected, with hours of deep texting conversations and cheeky Snapchat sessions. Finally, we went on a date on which we talked for hours, losing track of time discussing music and movies, and our families and futures. It ended with a magical goodnight kiss and I could not wait to see him again. Then things got weird. He got distant and would flake on plans last minute. Eventually I did a little digging through social media and found out that he’d had a girlfriend for months. I told him never to speak to me again but relented to a phone call on which he promised he’d explain everything. I cried, he apologized, and we ended on good terms with me drawing the line that he was not to contact me again.
Fall: Hahahahaha (this is a joke right?) Henry
My most recent Tinder experience has been one commonly seen in sitcoms and romantic comedies. I started talking to Henry, a super cute baseball player from University of Bridgeport, and some snapchatting made me really want to meet him. He came over and we had a lot of fun together, that is, until he started talking about his ex-girlfriend. For the next hour and a half I learned every little detail about his recently failed relationship. Finally having had enough, I told him I was very uncomfortable. He apologized and asked if he could ask one more question: Do you think my ex will take me back?? At that point I told him it was time to leave. Henry was a huge disappointment especially because he was very attractive and fun to be around, but also definite proof that calling women the overemotional sex is false stereotyping.
Over the past year, I’ve learned a lot about Tinder, men, and myself. I truly believe I’ve seen the full spectrum of what Tinder has to offer in men, and it’s given me a new perspective on relationships as a whole. I can confidently say I now know that the best way to meet someone is not on an app, but in real life. *ding* Gotta wrap up, I just got a new match!