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Fairfield | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Relationship Red Flags: Signs Your Friend is Really a Foe

MK Kalenak Student Contributor, Fairfield University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Fairfield chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

No one ever wants to realize that someone they care about isn’t who they’re all worked up to be. Over the years, some relationships and friendships may come and go, but why? Are you the determining factor, or are they? Are we choosing the wrong people to keep around? A multitude of people list their “red flags,” but sometimes the red flags we need to avoid aren’t red enough for us to see. 

#1 THE SWITCH UP 

If they act differently around people that aren’t you. Whether it be a friend or partner, if they act a certain way around you, but when they’re with their (other) friends, their attitude shifts… RED FLAG. Absolutely no one wants someone that switches on them because of an atmosphere. We never should be contemplating how our “friend” or partner is acting when we’re not there. This comes from a deeper place of trust and respect… Always always always feel respected in any situation with another person. 

#2 HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL

Sometimes it’s hard to put yourself first in a friendship or relationship. We always want to be open to whatever the other person wants because we want the people we care about to be happy. However, sometimes we get so fixated on what other people want that we never ask ourselves what we want. If you feel like you’re giving too much in any type of relationship, then RED FLAG. 

If you’re ever feeling down while being a part of a certain someone’s life, the person themself may not be a red flag, but how that person makes you feel can be. Also, if they ever make you feel badly about how you express your feelings, then I hate to tell you but… RED FLAG. We always have to remember what we feel is valid, and we don’t owe anyone an explanation for what we feel or how we choose to express it. 

#3 HOW THEY TREAT OTHERS

Always watch how your friends or partner treat others. Ask yourself if you would be fine with the things that come out of their mouth being said about you. How someone talks about or to other people may be foreshadowing on how your partner or friend would act towards you if your relationship would ever dissolve. If you have a friend that talks about other people, even to the point where it’s their only personality trait… RED FLAG. We want substantial friends. We also don’t want the feeling that everything we confide in them is just “material” to be used on their next friend or next relationship. 

Hi! I'm MK Kalenak! I'm a sophomore Public Relations & Digital Journalism Major and Finance Minor at Fairfield U from PGH, PA <3