If you are looking for a seriously good time and someone who will make you laugh your a** off, then this week’s campus cutie is your girl. She may be completely outrageous and her actions will have you questioning her sanity, but she has the biggest heart on campus. Meet the one and only, Sarah Hoefner!
Year: 2019
Major: I know I have to say something funny, but I’m just a marketing major. Economics minor though to bring out my analytical side.
Hometown: Middleton, Mass.
Relationship Status: Staying true to my Jesuit values, all I have to say there.
Her Campus: Describe yourself in three words.
Sarah Hoefner: Three words…I’m honest…outgoing…charming. There are only a few. I have a lot more. Can I use more words?
HC: Your parents are stagmates and you are a stag baby…because of this, was coming to Fairfield your first choice?
Sarah: Well, I only applied to one school early decision and that was Fairfield, so it was kind of a done deal. But yes, stag blood does run deep.
HC: What are you involved in here at Fairfield?
Sarah: I am programmer for Faber Hall’s IRHA, Captain of the Kung Fu Panda’s intramural volleyball team and marketer for COSO. I’m an all around good time.
HC: What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done?
Sarah: *Long pause* Well, I have done many embarrassing things on this campus; most of it has been filmed for viewing. It is probably going to be assumed that my answer to this question is the ceremony that I had in my room a few weeks back, but it would be that I fell off of a couch in a townhouse and took multiple people down with me as I went…. some of the outfits I’ve worn on campus are pretty embarrassing as well.
HC: I heard you threw yourself a baptism a few weeks ago. Can you briefly explain that?
Sarah: It was simply me devoting myself to my values. It may have gotten out of hand, but I basically plunged myself in a bathtub in a white dress that is yet to be washed. It is actually never going to be washed because they are going to put it in the Sistine Chapel when I become a Saint.
If my Mom asks, I never threw this event. Love you, Mom.
HC: Best memory you’ve made at Fairfield so far that is definitely one for the grandkids to hear?
Sarah: My best memory would be the night that over 50 people came into my room to watch me enter a bathtub in a white dress.
HC: McDonald’s or Wendy’s?
Sarah: McChicken with Mac Sauce.
HC: Is there a reason for the mosquito net that you have draped over your bed?
Sarah: It is not a mosquito net, it’s a canopy and it creates a romantic aura for my humble bed. It basically is there to only welcome certain people in.
HC: If you were stranded on an island what three people/things would you want with you and why?
Sarah: In this order: Maggie McGetrick because she is my rock. Panda, my homie since day one. And potatoes, not a single one because they are my favorite food. They also could be used as a weapon, as well as Maggie.
HC: How would you describe your taste in men?
Sarah: I would say I don’t really have a taste; it is more of who has a taste in me. I would have to say foreigners that would be willing to give me attention. They have to be funny, there has to be laughing involved. So, if you know of anyone interested, please let me know.
HC: What are you thoughts on Tinder and other dating apps?
Sarah: Tinder is not just an app, it’s a lifestyle. When I am feeling low I just go on there and swipe. The best compliments I have received are from Tinder conversations…sad, but true. I probably have over 900 Tinder matches.
HC: What is the nicest thing a guy has ever done for you?
Sarah: *Laughs hysterically* I’ll get back to you on that one.
HC: Best piece of dating advice you have ever received or given.
Sarah: I wouldn’t consider it just dating advice, but my friends from home always tell me that you are worth more than you chose, so just always know you are worth more than you are settling for. Shoutout PG9!
HC: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Sarah: Goal career is not a movie star or pop star; it is simply a superstar. I just hope to dominate the world and have dogs all around me. If not, I’ll be in a nunnery and I’ll be pursuing the Jesuit values.
You can keep up with this week’s campus beauty and all of her crazy schemes by following her on Instagram. If you’re lucky, you just might find her Finsta!
@sarahhoef