When I first realized my phone was broken, let’s just say the weekend was in full swing and I didn’t have a care to give. Calling my parents from a friend’s phone to tell them the following morning was when reality set in – I was an adult and needed to take care of my mistake on my own. Very frustrating, yet not surprising, I ended up without my iPhone for 4 full weeks due to a series of shipping mistakes following heated phone calls between my parents, my phone provider, and myself.
Forcing myself to grow up a little by handling this situation, taught me more than just to double-check the address on my orders (TIP: Don’t send things to your home when you are at college, especially when your parents are on vacation). I had no choice but to communicate with people in the most basic form: face-to-face. At first, I was challenged by simple tasks, like meeting someone for lunch or checking e-mails throughout the day without my laptop. I had to change the way I lived my life, and let me tell you – I couldn’t be happier that I did.
I’m not going to tell you to be unreachable and never carry a phone because this experience also taught me how functional they are in society, especially for college students. However, when I was forced to be without my iPhone for 4-weeks, my thought process, attention, and level of concern shifted dramatically because I started being present in my own life rather than a digital interface.
I was the type of person, like many, who frequently checked all their social media throughout the day. And oh, I did more than just scroll – I kept up. After not having my phone and lugging my laptop everywhere, the simple inconvenience made me resent sitting and staring at a 13-inch screen to contact anyone I wasn’t physically with. I no longer made the time to scroll through my Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook feeds because there was no way I would see everything I missed.
So why on any other given day did I even try to?
These questions began to bother me, and when my friends would say “Did you see their story?” or “Did you like their Insta?” I was happy to respond with “Didn’t see it” because most of the time I really didn’t care. Especially Snapchat, which I can honestly say I didn’t even miss and considered not downloading again.
On top of the inconvenience, I was getting tagged in pictures or mentioned in links which I wasn’t interested in responding to on my computer; there was no way I could keep my focus on anything with all my social media a click away from my work and obligations. I logged out and discovered undistracted focus. I signed out of the messages app on my computer, and for 4 weeks, I was essentially off the grid. I loved the feeling of knowing I was only reachable if someone was going to put in a level of effort, and even more I loved that only people with me on the weekend knew what I did that weekend.
For friends that wanted to see me, they needed to be present. When my family wanted to speak to me, they had to contact me in advance and set aside time. When my boyfriend wanted to come over, he had to make formal plans with me instead of texting me right before he stopped by. I realized that my time is valuable, and for the amount of it I stare looking at a screen, I needed to compensate with time spent seeing other people and seeing the world.
I go to school on a beautiful campus and inspiring faculty and peers surround me. For all the real, genuine, present relationships I’m in, I realized I had as many or more transactional relationships on social media. (Transactional? Those “loyal followers” that like your pictures so you like their pictures, you know what I’m talking about).
When I got my new phone, I had nothing to put on it besides my contacts. When I chose to re-download applications, I saw no need for Yik Yak or 7 different Instagram editors. In fact, I went back on social media and un-followed hundreds of people I didn’t really know or that I only followed because so many other people did. I deleted some of the 1,000+ friends I had on Facebook, and I continue to do so – I really only want to be surrounded by the people that I truly care about.
Social media for the everyday person is not a fan base, and it’s important we remember that. Who we socialize with on social media and how we digitally represent ourselves should mirror our actions and behaviors in real life.
The most important things in my life exist in my life – not on my phone. I need my phone because it’s functional, and I want its features because it’s fun. A month without my phone changed my perspective on many things, but most importantly it taught me to live in the present because life is for those who actually go out everyday and live it.