They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but some absences are harder to manage than others. The leap between high school and college can put stress on relationships, whether it is lifelong childhood friends or a significant other. Throughout high school, we became accustomed to seeing our friends and significant others on an everyday basis. However, once we transitioned to college, distance between relationships are created. A five-minute trip to your BFF’s house has now turned into a five-hour ordeal- a difference many of us are not yet accustomed to. Learning how to deal with these differences (and separation anxiety) is a key factor to keeping these relationships alive. Below are the ways to help make this transition a little easier.
Have trust: Trust is the key factor to keep high school relationships strong in college. It is important that you and your significant other trust each other. The less you have to worry about what the other person is doing, the better your relationship will be. Expect new people to come into both of your lives. The best way to handle the transition is simple, respect the new friendships and relationships you’ll both form. If you trust each other, your relationship will grow stronger. As for friendships, if your BFF from high school makes a new bestie, be happy for her! Bitterness will not be beneficial for either of you. Trust the fact that you two will always be friends, despite these new people in your lives. Don’t worry, that Made of Honor position was reserved by you years ago. No one can replace you!
Check in every once in awhile: A random text or phone call telling your significant other or friend that you miss them can really make a difference in their day. It shows that you care, and are still thinking about them. Even a surprise Insta shout out can go a long way.
Communicate about everything and be honest: Mistakes happen, but it is important to be honest about them. Honesty encompasses everything a strong relationship should contain. If something goes wrong in the relationship, say something! Being quiet or hiding how you really feel will only make you more upset in the long run.
Take advantage of “FaceTime dates”: Although it is not exactly ideal, talking over FaceTime allows you to see each other ‘face to face.’ Sometimes just seeing their face on the screen can make such a huge difference—kind of like you’re back at home together. This does not have to, and probably should not have to, happen every day but it is great to FT ever so often. You genuinely don’t realize how much you miss someone’s voice or face until you see or hear it again.
Give each other some breathing room: Though you are going to want to call or text each other every single minute, it is important to meet new people and experience college to its fullest potential. Your best friend is going to make a new friend group and have a college clique, and your significant other will probably find a new group of people to hang out with as well. Do the same for yourself! Go out and meet people. In the end, you will appreciate these new relationships just as much as your friends from home appreciate yours.
Realize it takes time to adjust: Everyone adjusts at different speeds, and it is going to take time to get acquainted to your new lives. It may be hard at first to be separated from each other, but in time you will learn how to work with the change. Focus on the positives, you will be back together before you know it.