It’s no secret that we live in a society where beauty is coveted over brains. From the time we are five years old, we are handed Barbie dolls to play with. By the time we hit puberty, we already have a solidified idea of the “ideal” notion of beauty. Some girls have the ability to look beyond these unrealistic standards, but like many I cracked under societal pressure.
Disclaimer: Eating disorders are not about vanity. Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes, just like people. From a young age, I struggled with body image. By the time I reached high school, my insecurities had begun to take over my life. No longer was I just obsessed with my weight, but I constantly scrutinized everything I did and said. By the time I was a junior, I began taking extensive measures to be thin. I worked out hours a day, many times going to the gym after hours of dance class. On days were I ate more than I felt I should have, I brought myself to throw up out of guilt for indulging myself.
Looking at me, many people would find it inconceivable that I once struggled so much. For years, I kept my struggles a secret. I was overridden with a sense of guilt over the fact that I had grown up in such a loving and nurturing home by amazing parents who had given me all I could want and more. When I came to college however, I realized that I had a fresh start. A chance to be me and to begin opening up about where I’d been and where I wanted to go. By allowing others in on my secret, I realized that there was nothing to be ashamed of. So many girls struggle with body image and eating disorders to some extent or another.
This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness week. Whether it is for you, your sister or a friend, we need to begin changing the way we think about eating disorders. Eating disorders are nothing to be ashamed of and certainly nothing to be condemned. They are not about vanity or even about being skinny. I will never go back to the place where I was, but I recognize that it will never be easy for me. Our society won’t change over night but we all have the power to change the way we think about eating disorders and unrealistic standards, which have and will affect so many of us. Beauty is derived from the struggles we have overcome and who we are today from such trials and tribulations.