Coming from someone who has spent a lot of time on the sidelines, here are my rules for a new college relationship:
- This is YOUR college experience
We are at Fairfield to learn, experience, and grow. Do not let somebody come into your life and take control of who you are. If your partner ever tries to tell you who you can and cannot hangout with, run.
- Don’t waste your time
We attend schools with thousands of people for a reason- options! Your person is not someone that treats you poorly or that you cannot be your true self around. There are plenty of fish in the Fairfield sea and therefore, if you are unsure, it is probably not worth it.
- Have fun!
Especially in a new relationship, things are not serious yet. Go to the Stag, Run to Molto, do the most! But, if you are fighting during the “honeymoon stage”, there is a chance you just are not compatible, and that is ok. Just prioritize yourself and have fun.
- Keep expectations realistic
Coming from a hopeless romantic, I see husband material in a guy passing by me on a skateboard. Although, in college that is not what we are looking for. Be present, be in the moment, and do not expect someone to be exactly how you imagined them. Allow them to surprise you and it will hopefully be worth it!
- Don’t be clingy
It can be extremely thrilling to be in a new relationship and instantly feel like you want to plan everything you do around them and with them. Please remember that you have routines of your own, best friends to hangout with, and a full schoolwork to do list.
- They are not your new roommate
This rule is me speaking on behalf of your actual roommates. Remember that it is also your roommates living space! Your roommates will probably get annoyed if your new partner is constantly in their space (especially if they are male).
- Soft launch
There is no need to tell everyone you have ever met that you have a new partner. Before you post them, make sure they deserve it. One month anniversary posts are not allowed.
- Listen to your friends
Your friends often know you better than a new partner and want the best for you. If they believe you aren’t being treated right, listen to when and if they say something.
- Speak up for yourself
Finally, remember that a relationship is between two people. You are not rocking the boat by sticking up for yourself. Ask for what you need, do not do anything you aren’t comfortable with, and value your own opinion. Stay true to yourself.
Good luck and invite me to the wedding :)