In Ariana Grande’s new music video, “break up with your girlfriend I’m bored,” Ariana’s alter-ego goes through many changes to love herself. In this video, Ariana’s character is showing us her unfulfilling relationship with a man. To do this, she divides herself into three different personalities: the outer self that everyone sees, with the long blond hair; her inner view of herself, with a high ponytail; and the distorted view of herself with the boyfriend, idealizing her reality, while hating herself at the same time. The images of the music video don’t match the lyrics, further distorting the reality portrayed in the video.
In the video, Ariana’s character/ alter ego is “bored” because she is numb from emotion within her unfulfilling relationship, and so she feels the need to create hurdles for herself in order to feel something. She is so removed from her emotions that she pretends to be another person. Crazy right? She begins to see herself as an enemy and imagines that she is another girl, trying to get a boyfriend to break up with his girlfriend just because she can. In reality, she is trying to tell her own boyfriend to break up with her, hinting at it through a veiled perspective.
In the beginning of the video, we see Ariana’s first alter ego with blond hair dancing on her own. As soon as she sees her second alter ego- a fierce, smiling girl with brown hair, a high ponytail, and a boyfriend- she soon morphs into the same disguise: brown hair and a high ponytail. The blond hair is like a mask which must be left behind so she can get closer to her true self: the dancing girl. Twin perspectives dance around each other throughout the video as Ariana searches to move past the depths of false reality.
Some may ask why Ariana doesn’t just play both versions of herself in the video. It seems like it’s because her view of herself is distorted by her negative feelings, self-doubt, and self-hatred. The self-hatred stems from the unfulfilling relationship for so long, and for placing the burden on the man- “break up with your girlfriend I’m bored.” Therefore, she can only see herself as a different person. She is mad at herself for her passivity, because she continues to wait for him to break up with his girlfriend- ie, for her boyfriend to break up with her- instead of breaking up with him herself.
Finally, at the end of the video, we see Ariana reach towards the “other girl”- her distorted view of herself- and lean in to kiss her. This symbolizes the final stage of self-fulfillment after the break-up, where Ariana can finally love her own self and see herself face to face. She is free to accept herself as she truly is: flawed yet flawless, concerned yet confident, and altogether a strong woman who is learning to put faith in her own opinions. She is a woman who knows she is capable but keeps fighting that internal self-doubt that rages against her own confidence.
Thank you, Ariana, for giving us this reminder that self-love is exactly what we need to face ourselves in the mirror as we are.