1. You use the handicapped button upon entering every building. Even though it takes longer waiting for the door to automatically open as opposed to just opening it yourself.
2. You make meals out of any food in your room just so that you don’t have to go to the dining hall. Hummus and cheerios go together, right?
3. You call your roommate to get something five feet away from you because leaving your bed isn’t an option. My self-diagnosis of an extreme cold requires me to be on bed-rest for the remainder of the year.
4. You stay in because you can’t muster up the strength to find an outfit. If my sweatpants can’t go, neither can I.
5. Your daily exercise consists of walking up the stairs to your room. Seriously, if you did anymore than that you’d have a sports induced asthma attack.
6. Your spirit animal is a sloth. Calling all lazy beings of the world, this is your leader.
7. You fake sick to skip class because the walk is just too unbearable. Sorry, professor, I wont be able to make it. I have a severe and untreatable case of lethargy.
8. You wear a hat every other day because showers take so much energy. Shampooing is an exertion in itself.
9. You wait until the last minute possible to do laundry. “Didn’t you say that was your last clean shirt like a week ago?” Stay away from your observant friends.
10. When someone asks you to go shopping you laugh in their face. Lucky for us, the pioneers of laziness discovered online shopping. That’s one small step for shoppers, one giant leap for lazy-kind.
11. Responding to texts is near impossible. Pick up. Read. Think of response. Put back down and never answer.
12. People compliment you on your candor for not wearing makeup, but in reality you just know that that’s 15 less minutes you get to sleep in the morning. Aux natural is always in for the hopelessly lazy.
13. You “skim” every packet, textbook, and article claiming you’ll retain all of the important information. *quickly scans eyes over all words while actually thinking about Grey’s Anatomy*
14. But in the thick of it all, you know you have that one friend who will never judge you for staying in with Chinese food on a Saturday night, ignoring your mother’s phone calls out of sheer laziness, and staying in bed for the entirety of the day: Netflix. Some call it infatuation. I call it love.
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