1. You manage to trip on everything in your path. Crack in the road: trip. Pebble on the floor: trip. Speck of salt on the ground: trip.2. There’s never been a public outing where you haven’t spilled something. Someone get me a bib.
3. The phrase “You break it you buy it” has become the sole expense in your life. WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY GLASS?!
4. A broken phone is more frequent for you than a functioning one. Personal record is 9. Going onto number ten this week…
5. Waking up with a new injury is far too familiar of an occurrence. 7 Band-Aids, 4 bruises, and 1 air-cast later…
6. Your own feet constantly get in your way. You’d think after 19 years I’d know how to walk by now.
7. You’re used to the disappointment of dropping your food on your way to the table. Why must it always happen in my hungriest state?
8. Exercise equipment is your worst enemy. How does everyone make it look so easy?
9. Dancing ALWAYS ends in disaster. Pop, lock, and literally drop it.
10. High heels might as well be stilts. Straight up newborn baby giraffe status.
11. Sports aren’t even an option. Coordination is overrated…right?
12. Warn your friends. It’s contagious.