I don’t have a sister, but I survived 17 years sharing a bathroom with my brother…so I’m weathered. But not even that could prepare me for living with 3 other women as I moved off campus this year. I guess I was blessed with pleasant roommate scenarios in the past, but my discovery is that it all changes once you exit the 8×8 concrete cell you’ve shared for the last 2 years. Although we all have our own rooms, which you would think would alleviate most issues, the main causes of our fights come from the smallest of details, it’s embarrassing to even complain to my friends or parents that all 4 of us are currently maintaining radio silence because of differences in 4 degrees of temperature, but its totally legit. Being 4 different women with strong personalities it’s tough to maintain order and coast through cohabitating, but with only a month and a half in and these issues arise, here’s my insight and my recommendations and resolving before domestic disturbances are filed against one another.
Maintaining Peace Among PMS
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Roommate Group Chats
- Even if you are all best friends, there needs to be a separate place to lay out strictly concerns of the apartment/suite (i.e. special guests crashing on the couch, need the living room for a study group from 5-7 on Thursday night, and if someone is heading out to the grocery store in the next few days. Can they snag a few extra rolls of toilet paper?). This just lays out everything relating to space and if you had a messy group chat with other concerns it would just add confusion and conflict going forward. Also, this helps confront some issues like dirty dishes when you’re too scared to say it in person.
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Family Meetings
- I HIGHLY recommend having one within the first few days of everyone moving in. You can make it fun order a few pizzas and all gather one night, it’s not like it’s a formal board meeting with minutes and roll call. During this time each person can lay out their views of how to treat the space and it’s also good to voice our opinions and get familiar with where people come from with some of their actions. Also, this is where you can address bathroom scenarios and how to tackle sharing food and kitchen utilities.
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Utilities
- Depending on how many you have or how your landlord has set it up this may become some or most of your responsibility. For my apartment, all we have it electric and one of my roommate’s have absorbed the responsibility of paying it each month. This is where the beauty of Venmo drains your bank account. Having everyone Venmo/ transfer equal shares of the bill helps alleviate conflict and makes the living scenario equitable for all.
Image courtesy of The Odyssey