Break ups suck. That goes without saying, whether it was your decision or if you had no idea – but they happen to everyone, and like everything, there’s a good way to deal with them and a bad way. Here are HCX’s top worst things to say during a break up: read up so that you don’t make an already pretty hideous situation a whole lot worse.
If it’s your break-up, it is probably best to avoid any of the following statements:
- ‘It’s not you, it’s me’
This is such a cliché, and so nearly always not true. This goes for ‘Let’s be friends’ and ‘You deserve better than me’. Breaking up with someone is horrible to do, but at least try and think of something semi-original.
- ‘I just don’t like your (insert anything here)’
This is where telling the whole truth is never a good idea. You hate your ex’s hairy arms? He doesn’t need to hear that right now – don’t use honesty to hurt your ex’s feelings.
- Nothing
Don’t just do a disappearing act. If you’ve been at all close to someone, phasing them out of your life without letting them know is a bad way to go about ending it, and in a place as small as Exeter it’s bound not to work
Instead, maybe try the truth? The PG version of it though – instead of saying you just really want to hook up with other people, say you just don’t want a relationship right now (if that’s true). Don’t say that you want ‘space’ however, because that’s too easy for the dumped partner to hold onto and hope that maybe you’ll get back together.
Also, NEVER break up with someone over the phone, Skype, text or email – anything other than in person. That’s just rude. This also goes for breaking up with somebody whilst drunk, or just after an important anniversary, birthday and so on.
Don’t assume that just because you don’t hear from somebody it’s over either…
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If you’re dealing with a friends’ break-up- try to refrain from saying any of the following:
- ‘I never liked them anyway’
This might seem like a good idea at the time – but even if it’s true, don’t say it! What if they get back together? Support your friend if they want to complain about their ex, but don’t be too enthusiastic.
- ‘It’s probably for the best’
This nearly always turns out to be true – but let them figure it out for themselves, because right now they don’t believe that.
- ‘You can do better!’
You just told your friend that you don’t think their ex was good enough for them – is that what they want to hear? Probably not.
Instead, let them know that you’re there for them. Bring ice cream. Suggesting a girls’ night out might seem like a great idea, but leave it a few days at least to avoid awkward drunk texting or sobbing outside the Timepiece burger van over how good their ex looked in his ones… and remind them, it will get better in time.
For Exeter Lad’s Opinion on the worst thing to do during break-up, click here.
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