This morning, I was walking through the forest with my perfectly curated autumn playlist filling my headphones (I was completely lost with no signal). Yesterday, I was gazing out of the train window like I was in a movie (I was running late to the dentist). Even now, I am typing away on my laptop in a cute cafe with a latte and a sweet treat (I should really be writing my university essay). Yet I feel so at peace, almost as though I have my life together. So why is it that channelling ‘main character energy’ is a coping mechanism for us when things get tough? Some may call it delusional, but I see it as a healing process.
When we’re asked why we bought that candle or watched that cheesy sitcom, our automatic answer is “TikTok made me do it”. Social media, Instagram and TikTok in particular, have turned ordinary life into an aesthetic competition, promoting a certain romanticised lifestyle we all secretly hope to achieve. Romanticising our own lives has helped us to pretend we are in this bubble. We may not be able to afford therapy, but we can afford that £5 bouquet and feel some sort of emotional stability. One minute you are watching a ‘day in the life’ video of your favourite influencer and the next thing you know you have created a new Spotify playlist and plotted an entire rebrand after a 3am burst of inspiration. Social media sells us the fantasy of ‘having your life together’ effortlessly through these small moments and perhaps there is something useful in that, a kind of DIY therapy that helps us to feel grounded amidst the chaos surrounding us.
Music in particular has become a key part of this habit. We surround ourselves with music that matches how we feel, and let’s be honest, I am sure most of us have a Spotify playlist for every occasion. We use music to soundtrack our lives, recreate those cinematic movie moments, and to mirror emotions we don’t know how to explain.
When we think of ways in which we can romanticise our lives, a significant part of this is finding beauty and wonder in the little things. We turn mundane activities into meaningful moments. It may seem fake and a ploy used by social media influencers to make their lives look perfect, and perhaps it is, but I see it as a genuine healing process. It has been proven that using these tactics to romanticise your life can actually calm your nervous system and make you feel grounded in the present, both in society and in yourself. These simple habits help you to slow down and feel joy in everything, big or small.
Our inability to control every little thing is a serious stress trigger so why not try to romanticise each activity and see if it helps? We may not be able to control those essay deadlines, but we can curate the perfect Spotify playlist to cry over them. University can be incredibly difficult, especially socialising so often so if you need a day or activity for some self-care, make it main character and you will most likely feel less guilty for admitting to yourself that you need personal space.
Maybe romanticising your life starts as a coping mechanism, but it can become a genuine healing process, and what is wrong with that? Finding beauty and meaning in everything you can is so important and life is too short to think otherwise. In a messy world, finding joy in small, simple moments is worth every overpriced matcha.