So Valentine’s Day is coming around again… yay? It might be difficult to tell, past all the pink glitter and heart shaped EVERYTHING, but the celebration of good old St Valentine appears to divide; you’re either in a relationship and deliriously happy, or you’re single, alone, and stocking up on pints of ice cream in the preceding weeks like you’re preparing for the apocalypse, right?
The crappy thing about V-day is the pressure; the artificial nature of a day when somebody who you already know likes you has to jump through hoops to prove it. In my book, Valentine’s Day sits right up there with New Year’s – a day with a so much hope pinned on it that it’s ultimately doomed to fail. It’s like watching a Greek tragedy, you know you’re going to come away thinking it was an okay evening, but you’re still a bit disheartened about all the dead people.
So we at Her Campus are here to share with you the highs and the lows of a “holiday” more divisive than the Twilight saga.
1) The wake up call
Expectation:
(A) You’ll wake up in the arms of your significant other looking and feeling like a princess, be indulged with flowers and luxuries in abundance, and the perfection will begin
(B) You’ll wake up to a million valentine’s cards from the hoards of admirers you know you must have, feeling fabulous at having your pick of the lot
(C) You wake up with NO expectations whatsoever, because you are a strong independent woman who does NOT validate themselves by their relationship status. Who needs a Valentine anyway??
Reality:
(A) You wake up the same as every other day, bed hair, morning breath and all, except this time you’re late for your 9am and you had a crappy sleep and you really don’t feel like rushing through morning sex, but you probably will anyway because hey, it’s Valentine’s Day remember??
(B) You wake up the same as every other day, bed hair, morning breath and all, except this time you’re a little hungover from the bottle of wine you drank last night to forget how painfully single you are, and the post probably just hasn’t arrived yet, right??
(C) See above. Note to self: buy more Ben & Jerry’s; it’s bound to be on offer today. Happy Valentine’s Day, folks.
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2. The dinner
Expectation:
(A) You’ll enjoy a fabulous meal in a beautiful and romantic setting, gaze into each-other’s eyes and fall even more in love.
(B) You’ve conveniently met a gorgeous stranger at some point in the day, and enjoy a quirky, spontaneous date sharing a milkshake or something and tell secrets until the sun goes down. And it’s snowing but also warm. And you’re probably in New York.
(C) You go out for a casual meal with your friends and have a great laugh, not even noticing it’s Valentine’s Day because you are B-R-E-E-Z-A-Y.
Reality:
(A) None of your clothes fit right, your hair is doing that thing it does when it REALLY hates you, and you’re so stressed you don’t even WANT to go out. But you have to. Because it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re in love, remember?? The expensive 3 course meal that sounded amazing is actually far too much for one sitting, especially after that leftover pasta you ate for lunch, and the marked up wine list prices are too painful to even consider. Could we get more water for the table, please…
(B) Every gorgeous stranger you thought you made intimate eye contact with in the Forum either looked at you like you were insane or turned out to be eye-flirting with somebody behind you. And in the coffee shop. And everywhere else. You make an “everything that’s not mouldy in the fridge” omelette with a generous side of Pinot, and watch any un-romantic film you can find (possibly an animal documentary) to avoid the sight of loved up people. WHY SHOULD THEY GET TO BE HAPPY?!
(C) You go out for a casual meal with your friends, but one of you (or all of you…) get wasted due to being surrounded every damn movie couple there is. Move on to Arena. We all know how this one ends.
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3. Bed time…
Expectation:
(A) After a day filled with love and adoration and a meal crafted by angels, you get back to your room which is perfectly lit, put on your gorgeous lacy underwear and, well…
(B) Your Valentine stranger is as mysterious as he is handsome, and so slips away into the darkness leaving your with a bouquet of handpicked flowers and a perfect, untarnishable memory.
(C) Full and merry, you head on home happy that you are surrounded by such great people who love you all the time, and feeling incredibly lucky.
Reality:
(A) After walking all the way home because you both spent your pennies scraping together a tip, you’re cold and bloated and just want to go to sleep. But you spent so much money on your new undies that you can’t just waste them. And it’s Valentine’s Day, remember. But you forgot to tidy your room after the wardrobe fiasco earlier, and there’s no elegant way to take off those super skinny jeans, and my God why won’t this day be over?? Say it with me – I am happy, I am sexy. I do not hate Valentine’s Day.
(B) It’s been a long day trying to poach the affections of everybody who seems even slightly eligible, and so for now you’ll probably retire to watch that episode of Call the Midwife you missed last week in bed, with the discount Valentine’s Day chocolate you picked up from Co-op on your way home. But you’re not giving up hope… Next year, guys. Next year.
(C) Battered. Bruised. Belly up on the d-floor after a spectacular fall. You’re probably going to end up wandering into karaoke at the King Billy after being chucked out of the club, probably dedicating “I Will Always Love You” to your best mate who’s equally single and equally hammered, who is now being chatted up by a local. Your BFF is the best Valentine-slash-partner in crime anyway!
Jokes aside, as One Tree Hill has taught me: Valentine’s Day is amateur romantic. “It’s a bunch of dudes with no game scrambling for flowers and jewellery … if I’m Christmas or Easter or the 4th of July, there’s no way I’m letting Valentine’s day sit at the lunch table”. Preach it, Clay.
But maybe that’s cynicism talking. If nothing else, there is a lot of happiness around on Valentine’s Day, and I’ll admit it’s contagious. Even at my most stubborn, there is something to be said for a day dedicated to loving and being loved, whether it’s your significant other, your closest friends, or even your family. So whatever happens don’t go to bed feeling dejected. There are people around who love you EVERY DAY, and they don’t even have to get you a cheesy card to prove it.
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