If this is your first Valentine’s Day as a couple, you may be wondering whether or not to join in celebrating this event? For the more cynical, Valentine’s Day is little more than a utopian fantasy whilst for the romantics amongst us, it is the perfect occasion to celebrate loved ones. It really is a marmite celebration.
The origins of Valentine’s Day is really interesting. Due it their similarities, it is believed to have emerged from the Roman festival of Lupecalia, which celebrated fertility and the partnering men and women. It was also associated with the Christian martyrs, both named Valentine, who were killed by emperor Claudius II Gothicus for defying the emperor’s decreed soldiers should not marry as single men were better fighters. Whilst this story has mostly been lost, the 14th of February can be a lovely reminder of how this tradition evolved and the power of love. However, this celebration of love has been highly commercialised, and is increasingly centred around finding physical gifts for your significant other. This can result in stress and pressure, particularly on men as there is an expectation that they should worship their girlfriend on this day. Furthermore, pushing Valentine’s Day away from its core focus on the importance of love, means that people become vulnerable to comparing their romantic relationships with others. Love therefore becomes measured by who did most to celebrate, or who received the best present. This toxic attitude explains the recent doubt emerging about Valentine’s Day.
On the other hand, Valentines Day is the perfect opportunity for little surprises and acts of kindness. For couples with busy lives, it is a clear date where they can arrange to spend quality time together and rekindle their feelings. Therefore, whilst restaurants are often overcrowded and shops overpriced, Valentine’s Day can remind your partner how much you care and why your relationship is so special. Also, who needs an excuse to dress up and go somewhere nice for dinner or snuggle in bed with your significant other?
Nevertheless, the emotions surrounding Valentine’s Day are not always positive ones. Many struggle with self-confidence around this time, either feeling lonely for being single or searching for the courage to confess their emotions. It can also be a hard period for those who have just experienced a break-up, and Valentine’s Day can feel like rubbing salt into a wound. Others who may find this time of year difficult include those in long-distance relationships; this is something to be particularly mindful of at uni as long-distance relationships are common. However, these emotions can produce positive outcomes and, although it is often overlooked, February 14th can strengthen and celebrate platonic relationships. If you are unable to celebrate the romance of Valentine’s Day, for whatever reason, Galentines can be a brilliant reminder of how much you are loved and supported. The idea of women supporting women is becoming increasingly prominent and gives you the perfect excuse to spend time with your closest friends.
It is difficult to see Valentine’s Day as anything but utopian. However, this doesn’t mean that it is not worth celebrating. Behind the commercialisation, Valentine’s Day has an important purpose and is a significant reminder of how special love (of any kind) is. Whether you decide to celebrate Valentine’s Day or not, using this day to reflect on your romantic, familial, and platonic relationships can help you appreciate those around you a little more. Therefore, whilst it is difficult for some relationships, it can strengthen others. Consequently, Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be completely ignored but tailored to your own needs and relationships.