On the 14th of February each year, we open our hearts and our wallets for the people we love. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for people showing their appreciation and love for their respective partners or friends through means of a bouquet of flowers, or box of chocolates, but has Valentine’s Day become a bit performative?
This might be a cynical point of view, but I think that Valentine’s Day has become completely commercialised, promoting ideas of transactional love and superficial gift giving. The fact that society dictates that, if you are in a relationship, on the 14th of February you must purchase various commodities to showcase your love for one another, suggests that the representation of love is not only performative, but also massively benefits capitalist cooperation’s.
Back in 2025, “consumer spending for Valentine’s Day rose 7.1% year-on-year, with 47% of consumers buying gifts and an average spent on gifts of £102.4”, (Mintel, par 1) which is a massive amount of money, and all because social norms compel us to submit to consumerist culture. Last year, the UK spent “almost 1bn on flowers, gifts and dine-at-home meals”. (NIQ) The mass spending that we are seeing each year reflects the commodification of love that supermarkets and retailers reproduce and then exploit in order to commercialise on Valentine’s Day.
I think that the unplanned declarations, like a surprise bouquet of flowers or random note are more genuine depictions of love simply because they were not asked for or expected. An act lead by pure feeling carries much more emotional weight than acting based on society’s socially constructed expectations. Carol Ann Duffy puts it best in her poem, Valentine, where she starkly addresses the artificiality of love through her comparison of the commercialised “red rose or satin heart” to her “onion”, which depicts “the careful undressing of love”. (Duffy)
I think a hand-written card is perfect. Or a thoughtful gift such as creating a CD, scrapbook of memories, or even planning an activity that is symbolic of something in your relationship.
I am not opposed to the foundational concept of Valentine’s Day; I think that it is wonderful that we have a day dedicated to expressing love. However, I am critical of the holiday becoming an artificial, commercialised declaration of love. I think that love lies in the moments where you are not obligated to show appreciation, but do so anyway.
Bibliography.
Duffy, Carol Ann. “Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy | Scottish Poetry Library.” Scottish Poetry Library, 2018.
“How Valentine’s Day Steals Your Heart and Your Money.” Cbre.co.uk, 2025.
“Love Was in the Aisle This Valentine’s as Brits Spend Almost £1bn on Flowers, Gifts and Dine-At-Home Meals.” NIQ, 5 Mar. 2025.
“UK Valentine’s Day Market Report 2024 | Retail Trends.” Store.mintel.com, 2025.