Valentines Day Controversy
For many people, not just feminists, Valentine’s Day poses many issues. Before it becomes a reminder of your own impending doom and singleness, it is a very commercialised celebration of a traditional, heterosexual society; a day of being pampered by your partner, with them taking you out to dinner and probably paying, etc. It is a day centred around the celebration of the traditional patriarchy. The shops are adorned with gifts ‘for him’ and ‘for her’, with giant red hearts reminding us that society approves of your conventional relationship, but maybe not your complicated, atypical one.
Ultimately, Valentine’s Day should be a celebration of all our relationships – a chance to tell your family and friends how much you value them, a chance to show your recognition of their love and support. However, our consumerist society has turned this into an every-blooming franchise, shoving pink and red cards, cushions and candy down our throats the minute Christmas is over – even before the Creme Eggs have appeared!
Furthermore, those of is who perhaps have difficult relationships or simply don’t fit the stereotype are painfully reminded of this fact. With the affirmation that only the ‘perfect couple’ should be celebrated, many are made to feel inadequate for the other not-so-perfect relationships in their life. What the commercialisation of Valentine’s Day fails to promote is the fact that the mis-matching families and challenging relationships deserve as much celebration as the lovey-dovey couple in the corner who have just got engaged and can’t keep their hands off each other.
Although our society is becoming evermore open and accepting of the LBTQ community, a day such as February 14th only serves to remind us how far we still have to go. Have you ever seen a display promoting an LBTQ relationship in Clinton Cards or John Lewis? Didn’t think so.
Relationships are such hard work. We put such a lot of time, energy and emotion into each one – whether it be a positive or negative experience, and whether it is just a fleeting encounter or a lifelong friendship. So perhaps Valentine’s Day should actually be a celebration of your own efforts at creating relationships – congratulate the introvert inside you for stepping out the comfort zone!
So how can we marry Valentine’s Day with Feminism (no pun intended). First, embrace that not everyone has a perfect, atypical relationship – and that these are just as valued as any other! Secondly, use it as a chance to celebrate how far feminism has come in society – in many countries an equal and gender-balanced relationship is unthinkable. Finally, why not get behind V-Day – the global movement aimed to raise awareness of domestic violence and bring it to an end. V-day is not just Valentine’s Day, it is ‘Victory, Valentine and Vagina’ Day, a feminist celebration if ever there was!
This week, don’t be ashamed to enjoy a chocolate or some delightfully feminine flowers from your other half, but remember also to celebrate ALL the relationships in your life, whether perfect or difficult