Looking back to my days at high school, over four years ago now, it is with a retrospective benefit that I begin to see the problems that this idea of ‘locker room talk’, a phrase coined by President Donald Trump when defending accusations of sexual misconduct, had on both the girls and the boy’s behaviours within the classrooms, and in the outside world too.
For girls, the idea of competition was driven into us the minute we walked through the gates in the morning. Guys would rate all of the girls out of 10, saying who they would love to bang. There would be the agreed group of girls, who were certified by the boys to be ‘peng’, ‘fit’ and ‘buff’ and then the words began to filter down into ‘minging’ and ‘butterz’ at the other end of the scale. Classmates thought that it was totally fine to cup your breasts when walking in the corridor, or try to shove their hand down your t-shirt on the way to lunch. For some reason, at the time, these incidents seemed to imply that I was liked by the male population within the school. I thought that if it wasn’t happening to me, but my friend was being groped instead, then this was somehow meant to mean that I am no longer desirable. Looking back now I can’t believe myself that I allowed this to happen and for myself to think in this way.
This was regular sexual harassment and I brushed it off like it was nothing, as that is how I thought I was supposed to behave. The way that this ‘locker-room talk’ is implanted into culture means that girls are taught that this kind of behaviour means that you are wanted, and gives ammunition for men like Donald Trump and Harvey Weinstein to get away with the things that they do, and still hold their privileges.
Looking at this from the perspective of the boys, it is slightly harder to pin-point. Toxic masculinity is a word that is thrown around, but it feels necessary to bring this into the conversation. There is certainly an aspect of peer-pressure that is rooted within this, but where it is learned from is much more complex than this. Arguably, a lot of it comes from very misogynistic porn catered to men’s desires. From a young age, boys are introduced to a body-type of a woman and a specific set of ideals which are displayed to satisfy a primarily male audience. Another important aspect is the way in which they are bought up. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie notes both in her Ted Talk, and essay, We Should All Be Feminists, that we do a great disservice to boys by teaching them this set of beliefs.
This needs to be applied directly to the high school environment too, as the long term consequences of young girls being poked, and treated like this within a community that is supposed to be a safe environment undermines the very principles which a school should hold so dear.