We all want our other halves to be close to our parents. It’s nice for them to be able to have a laugh together, agree on fundamental beliefs and for them to be comfortable with each other even when you’re not around.
But sometimes, lines can be crossed. Your boyfriend may have wormed his way in too far, becoming a little too close to your mum. If they ARE too close, it can make things pretty awkward for you, especially if you ever decide to break up with him.
Watching TOWIE (research, obvs) and seeing Lydia cry over the fact her Mum is too close with her ex-boyfriend, Arg, got us at HerCampus thinking. Surely your Mum should always be there for you after a break up, no matter how ‘part of the family’ said boyfriend had become? In the end, you are the priority.
But how do you know when its gone too far? When does close become too close?
1. When they share
private jokes that you don’t even understand
Private jokes imply friendship that’s so personal that it’s just between you and that other person you share
the joke with. It not really acceptable for your mum and your boyfriend to be close in a context that excludes you.
2. When you have an argument with him and she takes his side, even when he’s CLEARLY in the wrong
Mums are the ones
who should always be there for us when we’ve had a bad day at uni, feeling a bit sick
or if our boyfriend is being a bit of a knob. If she’s constantly defending him and taking his side, it will just cause further divides between you and your parents.
3. When she says things like, “he really reminds me of a boyfriend I used to have…”
This means she probably fancies him. Which doesn’t really need an explanation as to why this is awkward/unacceptable/wrong on so many levels.
4. When he’s laughing at a text, and you worry it’s another girl but then you realise…it’s your Mum.
Again, you should always be included in any amusing conversations between your boyfriend and your Mum. Sure, it’s nice they can communicate and get along, but you shouldn’t have to feel left out.
5. When she brags about his achievements to her friends but forgets to mention the amazing internship you just got.
If your Mum seems to be more proud of him than she is of you, you need to have BIG WORDS. You’re the one
who’s had to suffer her parenting for so many years, why should he get all the praise?
If you feel like any of these apply to your boyfriend’s relationship
with your Mum, you might want to have a think about how it would impact you if you (god forbid) should call it quits. In the end, he’s your boyfriend, and no matter how well he gets along with your mum, he should always remain a teeny bit separate.