How to Tell if you’re a Twat Magnet
Every guy you date is unique in his own way, but when you’re a Tw*t Magnet there are certain traits that these boys all have in common. When the relationship falls through faster than a dodgy X Factor audition it’s tempting to blame yourself, but it’s important to instead realise that you’re a sassy minx who is too good for these guys. So in order to avoid the next No-Good-Guy, we have come up with a list of traits that may indicate he’s trouble…
1. He stands you up all the time. We’ve all had to cancel a date at some point or another because our parents were being homework dictators or we’ve been too hungover to get out of bed. But there’s a difference between cancelling a date an hour in advance and apologising profusely, and letting a girl wait for 25 minutes outside a restaurant and then sending a text saying you’re not coming. If he’s always late or stands you up, then he clearly doesn’t think you’re worth the respect you deserve.
2. He’s more interested in what’s in your bra than what’s in your brain. OK, so most guys like doing sexual stuff with the girls they’re dating. But there’s a major difference between having a relationship that’s fun in the bedroom and having a relationship where that’s all you have. If you make (obviously hilarious) jokes and he doesn’t even try to get them, or he clearly doesn’t listen when you talk but is ‘all ears’ when you’re having phone sex, then he’s not the guy for you!
3. He wants to “see other people”. Yes, there is such a thing as taking it slow and not being exclusive for a while. But when you’ve been going out for a few weeks and he still tells you that he wants to see other people at the same time, he is essentially sugar-coating the fact that you are his Plan B. We suggest that you avoid Manwhores and instead go for a guy who thinks you’re the most fantabulous creature in the world (because you are.)
4. He thinks feminism is “irrelevant”. Where to even begin. If you’re dating someone who thinks that men and women don’t deserve equal rights and wholeheartedly supports Page Three and the objectification of women, then what does that tell you about how much respect he thinks you deserve? If he’s not a feminist, then he’s probably a Knobhead.
5. He tries to be a “lad”. There’s a small difference between being a fun guy with a group of male friends, and being a creepy leech of a lad. If his Twitter page is full of retweets from the Lad Bible or naked pictures of Rihanna/Kim, then he’s probably the latter…
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6. He ignores you in public. It sounds crazy, but it happens. He’s with his friends and you’re walking towards each other. You make eye contact. Then he walks straight past you. Later he will text you as if nothing happened, but it’s important to remember that the way a guy treats you in front of his friends says a lot about what kind of person he is. He should be treating you like a princess, no matter where you are.
7. He is constantly mean to you. There’s a thin line between banter and bullying, and he crosses it every time. He knows that you’re really insecure about your bottom looking like a Satsuma that’s been sat on by a fat dog, but he still laughs when it wiggles and points out that it moves irrespective of your body. If he often uses your insecurities to put you down, then he needs to be demoted from Boyfriend to Pathetic Bully Status ASAP.
It’s really quite simple. Be with a guy who makes you feel good about yourself, even when your hair is greasy and you have a spot the size of Mt Vesuvius on your face. If he’s not a Twat, then he will treat you like the amazing goddess that you are no matter what you look like or where you are.
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