In the world of romance, there are phrases that could be put on t-shirts—the stereotypes. Phrases like: “we need to talk”. (Everyone shudders when that one’s spoken). “It’s not you, it’s me.” “He/She’s the one,” “We can still be friends,” “Of course I came,” and the biggest one of all, “I love you.” Yep, those three little words probably make the most famous phrase of all—but they shouldn’t. No, my friends, there’s another phrase that sounds just as good, if not better coming from the lips of your partner… “I get off on pleasing you”.
I promise, this isn’t a myth. There are guys who absolutely believe in it. From deep and meaningful conversations with my close guy friends, late at night, often after a few drinks, many of them have admitted to me that what makes them feel best is getting their partner off. And this is in addition to the few totally awesome guys who spoke that phrase to me in a more…personal setting. The key point here, ladies, is that sex nowadays is not just about the guy getting off: what makes them happy is making you happy.
Obviously, this might come into play more in serious relationships. If I’m dating him, I’m more willing to take one for the team because I care about him and want to make him feel good. If he’s a decent guy, I hope he’ll do the same…even if it means I roll over and sleep immediately after without reciprocating. But what about in a more casual encounter? Do these six words mean anything then?
The answer to that is YES, in capital letters. Maybe even more so. For sure, a guy or girl probably isn’t going to come right out and say, “I get off on pleasing you.” But you’ll be able to figure it out through a number of ways, trust me. And when they do, you’ll know they care about your pleasure, rather than just messing about. Too many times have I heard the sad, familiar tale of how a one-night stand ended up falling flat because the guy was selfish. Not cool. But if you manage to find one of these guys, who is happy getting you off because it makes him feel good too, then you’re a lucky duck.
However, there is a caveat to this idea in a casual relationship that may not exist in serious ones. It’s something that isn’t talked about that much, especially during a one-night stand: the concept of equal-opportunity pleasure. Obviously if things go well, both of you get off. But if not…well, if you’re anything like me, I won’t really ask for something I want (and as a girl, that’s hard anyway). I’ve found many guys are the same. They don’t want to push a girl too far, or scare her, even if she’s willing. This is where “I get off on getting you off” is awesome. You get to help out your partner, and using that age-old mentality of ‘tit-for-tat’, you do the same and you enjoy it! It’s a personal motto I think everyone should adopt.
There’s something hot about shared pleasure, and I don’t mean just the act of sex itself. You can both get off on getting the other off, and then everyone’s happy.
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