It’s a question widely debated by scholars across the globe. Yes, your new flatmate could pass for Ryan Gosling’s younger brother and you already envisage the pair of you as the next Rachel and Ross/ Charlotte and Gaz, but is it worth the awkwardness of having to live with each other for a year if you do ‘go there’ in freshers’ week!? We’ve weighed up the pros and cons of getting friendly with a flatmate, so freshers – take note!
1.) Who are you kidding? – It’s probably going to be awkward.
Even if you only shared a little kiss on the dance floor, when the alcohol wears off and your new bunch of flatmates reconvene in the morning to discuss what the hell happened the night before, it’s almost inevitable that you focus more intently on your Coco Pops to avoid any eye contact.
If, however, you shared a little more than a kiss, and find yourself tiptoeing down the corridor to your own room the next morning, all I can do is wish you luck. Unless you both feel that you’ve found your soul mate, it’s definitely going to be awkward at the breakfast table.
2.) Your other flatmates might feel uncomfortable.
One thing to consider is how the rest of your flat might feel about the two of you. As a new family, this type of incestuous behaviour may make your new flat brothers and sisters feel slightly uncomfortable. If you do find yourselves becoming ‘a thing’, try not to exclude yourselves from the other members of your flat.
Or worse, don’t make anyone feel like a side dish.
3.) What happens if he falls for you?
There’s nothing worse than a boy you can’t get rid of. You’re in the Co-op queue – he’s there. You’re struggling to conquer one of Exeter’s many hills – he’s there. You can no longer walk through The Forum incase he spots you, and have resolved to walking the whole way around it. Now, imagine how much worse this will be if he lives with you. For you, it might have been a one-off, drunken thing. For him, it just might be happily ever after.
Though the attention might be quite nice to begin with, it is very difficult to dodge someone who has become obsessed with you if they are in the room next door. Picture hearing a knock every five minutes to see if you fancy ‘hanging out’, an unwanted stroke of the foot under the kitchen table, or, God forbid you bring another guy to your flat, the lingering stares and jealous remarks.
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If you do end up going there, don’t fret – you have not ruined uni life for yourself just yet:
1.) You might actually really like each other.
Every relationship has to begin somewhere, so why not a drunken night in freshers’ week? Though you are reversing the natural progression of relationships, essentially you get the chance to try before you buy- living with your boyfriend before you decide if he’s marriage material. In fact, I know several couples who have made it to third year and were former flatmates, and they pride themselves in never having had to endure an awkward walk of shame across campus.
2.) It will definitely break the ice.
Though you may be taking the whole ‘getting to know your new flatmates’ thing a step too far, it certainly beats pointless conversations about which A-levels you took. Not only will you immediately feel closer to your new male flatmate, but any intimate encounters may actually help you bond with your other flatmates. In a way, the pair of you are selflessly offering the rest of the group something to laugh about/rip you to shreds for.
3.) It’s something to laugh about later on.
“Do you remember when we got with each other in freshers?” “Eurgh!” may actually become one of your favourite drunken conversations when you reach second and third year. If you’re lucky enough to become friends after the experience, you will probably find the whole thing hilarious (not to mention incredibly cringe-worthy), and at least you will never have to wonder whether he’s a good kisser.
So, is it wrong to get with your flatmate? No. Is it complicated? Probably, yes. But then again, you’re only a fresher once.
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