Jealousy creeps into your life from a young age. It may originally rear its ugly head when a younger sibling is born, or when your parents first hire a babysitter so they can go off on date nights. It might not sneak into your life until a bit later: perhaps a child at nursery has that cuddly toy you demanded when your parents took you to Hamleys or the teacher gets a bigger portion of lunch from the school cooks. It doesn’t matter whether the thing you covet is large or small, at some point in your childhood, it will crawl its way into your heart and refuse to leave.
However, jealousy isn’t always problematic. As you grow up, you learn to control these envious urges and to resist the desire to snatch what you want and run. (This is mainly because stealing is illegal and will never end well). In a relationship, however, it can cause serious conflicts. We’ve all been there: hating on that girl who has the cheek to talk to your boyfriend, let alone the ones that drape themselves all over him on a night out. But can these feelings get out of control? We handed this query over to some Exeter lads to get some tips on whether the green-eyed monster should be hidden or heralded.
Our first lad is a girl-loving, but relationship-hating, commitment-phobe. For him, jealousy is a no-brainer; the moment a girl asks about other girls is the moment he decides to end it, or stop replying to her texts until she gradually gets the hint. Harsh, it may be. But perhaps this cut-throat attitude has weaned a few girls off ever expressing their jealous motives again. If a guy just wants a little bit of fun and has made that clear then, unfortunate as it may be, you may not be entitled to stake claims over him. And if you do, you have to be prepared for the outcome.
Our second guy is recently single, having just come out of a three year relationship. “Jealousy is bulls**t” were the wise words that came out of his mouth. He was unimpressed to learn that HCX needed a little more information than that to go by! His reaction was a common one, especially from those whose relationships have suffered from jealousy in the past. At the time, when you’re in love and that one person is your world then you’re willing to forego a little of your independence in order to make her happy. But consistent texting on a night out followed by a thorough examination and potential deleting of photos before they’re allowed to be uploaded onto Facebook can begin to take it’s toll. Unfortunately, it might not be until the relationship has ended that you realise those ‘cute’ demands were actual tell-tale signs of a very jealous girlfriend.
Finally we move to our last Exeter lad. He’s a fan of serial monogamy. Going from one girl to the next, but over a period of years rather than days, as is the style of our first man. Surprisingly, it took him longer to answer than the first two. He’s torn when it comes to jealousy. First realising that a girl you’re seeing is jealous of another girl who you talk to is a breakthrough moment. ‘Eureka! She likes me!‘ It is the clearest way of her showing how much she likes you. If she didn’t get jealous, then she wouldn’t care. But “you have to be sensible as irrational jealousy is annoying…it makes you watch your back.” An overly jealous girl can be self-destructive, ruining a relationship before it really got a chance to start.
Overall, HCX think it’s safe to say that a lot can be learnt from these three men. Jealousy can be attractive, but only if it’s handled well. It can be a way to let them know how much they mean to you, rather than as a method of restricting them. The tighter you pull those reins, the further he’ll leap. Remember, he chose you and not her for a reason, so don’t give him a basis to question what that reason was.
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Photo Credits: www.dontbelieveinhappyendings.tumblr.com/ www.weheartit.com/entry/57451752