In everyone’s life there is a little background radiation. Now, I’m not talking about that annoying buzz your speakers make when you get a text, I’m talking about boys; and a specific type of boy to be exact. I’m talking about the guy that’s always there in the backdrop… He’s a guaranteed act at Monday Mozzas, he’s in the back of your Tuesday lecture and always at the back of your mind – but only when no one else is.
Basically, these are the boys you choose to go home with when the man you were hoping to get with has already gone. To say they’re second best wouldn’t be fair: they have a lot going for them; they’re just not what you’re going for. Somehow, all of this is forgotten when you’ve had one too many jaeger bombs and the smell of the Arena carpet is becoming too overpowering. Mr Background is the obvious option to walk you home – nothing could/would/should happen with them but it will, because it happened already last week.
The thing is, when there’s nothing better on TV, you don’t chose to sit and watch the squiggly grey fuzz radiating out, you choose to do something better. So, the question is, why haven’t we learned to do the better one with men? On a night out, many of us convince ourselves that going home with Grey Fuzz is better than going home alone. They’re as much a guilty staple to our night as a TP burger, yet, until someone offers us something new to eat, we’ll keep coming back for seconds.
Don’t get confused, this isn’t a friend with benefits. You might justify it as that but in reality you have no connection outside of the club or the underside of his duvet. Screwing your friend screws up your friendship, with background-radiation-boy, there is nothing there to screw-up. Despite your recurring interaction, there will never be a follow-up date, any Long Lounge lunch, Harry’s Heart Attack or pre Lecture Latte. You might merit an awkward nod when you run into him in Co-op but that’s as far as it goes.
It’s easy to think you want him, but in reality, you don’t. You want someone to be able to send the “lonely” text to, snog on the TP dance floor, and complain about over brunch. You’ll only realise you don’t want him when the one you do want makes an appearance. At this point, the little buzz you get from background radiation goes and you realise he was nothing more than a hazard.
Picture credit: www.cosmopolitan.co.uk