Is Chivalry Dead?

Ladies: When was the last time a boy opened the door for you?

Gave up their seat for you on public transport when you were carrying a heavy bag?

Or bought your dinner on a date, no questions asked?

A while?

Poor you, right?

Wrong.

Yes, ‘chivalry’ as we know it might be on the decline, but this is for a very good reason, believe me.

Let’s not beat around the bush here, ‘chivalry’ is not a trait that stands alone. It is a word loaded with implications about perceptions of femininity, and heralds back to an age we women would rather forget.

This is an age in which, unlike much pop culture today might suggest, did not denote rosy lifestyles in suburban bungalows baking and catering for a loving husband. This was a past in which women were not allowed the luxury of choice in terms of lifestyle, marginalized in society, and for centuries, denied full status as citizens.

Men might have allowed women the ‘privilege’ of a few open doors, or occasionally offered to carry their bags for them. They might have offered to buy them dinner- granted, largely this was because many women would not have had their own income. In short, this treatment was entirely for the wrong reasons.

Women today are liberated, for the most part. We have our own money, we have the luxury of choice when it comes to lifestyle, and we should no longer expect to be treated differently. This parity is something we should celebrate, and it’s completely counter-intuitive to hark back to an age in which a man ‘treated his woman like a queen’. In fact I’m sick to death of hearing this. It’s a mythical past, and it implies a double standard that we should try and rid ourselves of.

When we ask to be treated equally, we must expect it when that’s what we get. Equality goes two ways, and you’d expect the majority of us strong, independent, educated women to understand that.

In fact, by expecting special treatment from men, the gateway opens for men to expect certain things in return. If you ask a man to ‘take care of you’, you imply an infantilisation, that allows men to respect you that little bit less. It suggests that like children we NEED to be looked after, when of course, that’s not, nor should it ever have been the case.

So girls, come on; ‘I depend on me’ and all that. Who needs ‘chivalry’? What we really need is to be treated with respect as human beings, and to demonstrate that same respect back.

Yes Chivalry might be dead, but lets hope its heir will be something a little bit more progressive.    

Photo Credits: weheartit.com

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