We have been in lockdown for 132 days (and counting). For some of us, that means we have spent 132 days with our partners. So, after spending so much time together, how can we make valentines special?
Focus on Love
For many, valentines may feel like a gimmick, but I love it because it gives us all a day where the love in our life is our main focus. Having a day to take stock of the love we receive and the love we grant in return is a really beautiful thing.
One way you can feel that love even more deeply is by switching off from the outside world, and focusing on the person right in front of you. When you’re in lockdown with your partner, it’s rare that your only focus is on them. You’re distracted by zoom seminars, emails from work, and FaceTimes with friends. By turning your phone off for a while and shutting out the noise, you can ensure that this day is reserved for them with no distractions. As Valentines falls on a Sunday this year, its more than likely you won’t have to worry about work or lectures either!
Have a quality conversation
As we’ve established, although you’re spending 24/7 in the same space, it doesn’t mean that you’re actually connecting with your partner on a deeper level. Most of the time you will find yourself discussing menial things, and only scraping the surface of our partners thoughts, so to make the day feel special, consider trying some new and exciting topics of conversations.
Getting a deeper conversation going can be difficult without any stimulus, so try using lists of curated questions for entirely this purpose. I love doing Vogue’s 32 Questions to Fall In Love, and seeing how our answers change over time. Another brilliant recommendation is The Good Trade’s 99 Mindful Conversation Topics.
Make yourself feel good, so you can both feel good
Let’s face it, lockdown with your partner isn’t as sexy as you might’ve hoped. Global pandemics don’t exactly get your fires burning. Since the first lockdown pyjamas have become my new uniform and, to be honest, you’d be lucky to catch a sighting of me with my hair brushed. It’s incredibly hard to feel romantic in those circumstances. But taking some simple steps to make you feel good can make the world of difference.
For me, this looks like putting on matching underwear, clothing with a non stretch waistband, styling my hair and adding my favourite lipstick on top of my everyday makeup. For my partner it’s a close shave clean up, an expensive aftershave and a long sleeved shirt. Such a simple change to your everyday routine can make you feel more empowered in your own desire, as well as in receiving your partners.
Change your scenery
Lockdown means being trapped in the same four walls, day in, day out. In normal circumstances, we’d be heading out on dates to all sorts of locations. But now, we’re confined to our houses. Whilst it may not be possible to make a five star restaurant from your three foot long kitchen, there are ways you can make your space feel completely different:
– A summer’s day picnic: lay out a picnic blanket on your bedroom floor and cover it in cushions. Serve yourself sandwiches cut into little triangles, sausage rolls, scotched eggs, cakes galore and maybe even a scone or two. Dress in your finest summer clothing and turn up the heating if you want to make this feel even more realistic.
– A luxury restaurant: set up a table as you would find it in a top tier establishment: with a lit candle, full cutlery, and your best wine glasses. Order a three course meal from your favorite restaurant, tuck in and play footsies under the table, just like old times. If you want to take it one step further, when recreating this date I used my projector to project a view of Paris onto the empty wall and played a jazz backing track. It made us feel like we were in a ridiculous 90s movie and it was so great!
– The bowling alley: crack out the wii you haven’t touched since you were 12 years old and put on your favourite clunky shoes. Battle your partner on the wii sports bowling game just as though you were at the alley. Add tiny portions of m&ms, arcade games (try coin dozer for iPhone) and soft drinks for some extra flare.
– The pre-drinks and club: get out your plastic cups and ping pong balls and pretend you’re in the scummiest of the university accommodation playing beer pong. When you’ve finished the match, take it to the club with a classic norties playlist. Download the strobe app and spill a few drinks to make the experience more realistic.