It’s a common assumption that long distance relationships at Uni are doomed from the start, ending in heart break or fizzling out after lack of TLC in first year. But here at HCX, we know that with the right attitude and a bit of perspective, long distance relationships can flourish at University, even if you’re both Freshers!
First of all, remind yourself why you are in the relationship. People who commit to going long distance aren’t doing it because it’s easy or convenient; they do it because that person means so much more than the miles that stand between them. This should be one of the most reassuring things to remember if youâre just about to embark on the ‘long distanceâ experience for the first time. Remember, you’re not just any girl he has a good time with – you have something special which is unique and worth a lot more than the price of hundreds of train tickets.
Be prepared! The ‘last goodbye’ before you head off on the journey to University will feel like you’re right in the middle of a heart-breaking scene from a movie. The best thing to do is to keep busy, keep smiling and enjoy making lots of new friends as soon as you arrive. You’ll find that it gets easier after the first few days and will soon adjust yourself to the new set up of your relationship. Although it will feel strange at first, you’ll learn to realise that you can’t just pop over his when you fancy a cuddle, and impromptu dinner dates, cute surprises and those romantic-spontaneous trips to the beach won’t be quite so easy to do.
So where are the positives of all of this? No doubt you will ask yourself this question at least once. Will doubt sometimes creep in your mind? Of course it will. Even people in the strongest relationships will hit a few bumps in the road now and again. Don’t panic when the smooth road suddenly turns into a dirt track with potholes; if he’s worth it you’ll come out of it unharmed and stronger than before!
What about trusting him? Trust is an essential ingredient for any successful relationship, but often when two people are miles apart, all of a sudden trust becomes exposed and tested regularly. Imagine it as a muscle. Like an Olympic athlete, your âtrust muscleâ will get stronger the more you train it. You’ll get more skilled at mastering and enduring the challenges of being in a long distance relationship with the training sessions of each day. Yes, it is hard work, but the best part is you’ll feel like you’ve just won gold when you do get to spend time together.
You may even find that going long distance could inject a new level of excitement into your relationship. Every little moment you get with each other will be special, transforming mundane things into magical moments. A meal in McDonalds has potential to be a romantic dinner date (especially if its just before you’re about to hit the road and part ways)! Cuddling up in front of a movie will feel like a novelty, when before you may have complained about not doing something ‘exciting’.
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Be inventive! Sending love letters and little surprises in the post is a great way of keeping the romance flowing when you’re apart. Sending a photo from your phone of something funny, sexy or interesting is likely to make his day and remind him that you’re thinking of him. There’s always Skype if you want it to feel like you’re both in the same room as each other (I know it’s not quite the same). Regular communication with each other will make the distance feel like less, it will keep the excitement going, so when you do reunite it will feel electric.
Although it’s hard to spot them at first, long distance relationships at Uni do have some significant benefits. You won’t be caught in the messy web of Uni-dating! Whilst the girl sitting next to you in your lecture may be thinking ‘Should I have slept with him last night?’,  you’ll be concentrating on the important stuff – your degree. It’ll be rare to find yourself with the dilemma of choosing between a night in with the boyfriend and cocktails with the girls. Plenty of relationship-free time at Uni gives you a chance to build solid friendships that will last beyond graduation. But even when your boyfriend comes to stay you don’t have to keep locked away from your housemates. Make sure you provide opportunities for them to meet each other and you may well find your boyfriend slots well into your friendship group â another added bonus! If you find the right balance you can have the best of both worlds. When your hectic Uni life gets too much you can plan mini breaks at halfway points between each other, and even save up for cute weekends away.
Of course, we’re not trying to say long distance relationships are for everyone. If your relationship is making you unhappy (and you’re not just having a bad day) then it might be best to call it a day. Every relationship is different, so don’t feel like you’ve lost if your relationship doesn’t last through the first heat: Fresher’s week. Providing you’re both keen and determined to make things work though, it’s more than possible that you grow stronger together!
If there’s one important thing to remember in all of this: always tell each other how you feel. If you miss him tell him! There’s no point pretending that being miles apart ‘is a breeze’ when really there’s a storm brewing inside.
Picture credits – www.weheartit.comÂ