The night is winding down, you’ve drunk enough vodka to sedate a baby hippo and you’ve failed to find anyone worthy to take home with you as a memento of the evening. After scanning the dance floor one more time and having a snoop around the smoking area, you’ve come to the realisation that the only hot thing you’re taking home is a burger from the van outside. But do not worry the night is not over yet and the possibility of getting laid has not disappeared as quickly as your burger did.
The art of booty calling can be somewhat tricky depending on the guy you are attempting to call. If you’ve slept together a reasonable amount of times before, you don’t have to be as nice with pleasantries and it can simple be “Fancy a F***?”. If you want to be a little bit more mysterious and lady like “Are you out?” is always a solid line to go for, even though you know very well he wasn’t out because keeping tags on your potential shag pals is a necessary part of your evening. Try not to use any creepy emojis, even though your drunk self thinks sending the suggestive face 6 times is super funny it’s not, you look like a nutjob.
An important thing to think about when booty calling is to evaluate just how drunk you are. If you are so drunk that you cannot make cohesive sentences and looking at your phone makes you dizzy then you’re not going to magically sober up once the sex gets going. For this state, make sure you call someone you don’t mind making a tit out of yourself in front of.
The ideal situation would be for him to come to your house as this avoids any awkward encounters in the morning on your walk home. But if you’re the one doing the booty calling, you should probably move your booty to his house, to be polite.
For the more experienced booty callers, keeping some supplies in your clutch is never a bad shout. Gum, concealer and enough cash for a cab home is important when escaping. Do not overstay your welcome in the morning, you’ve been satisfied now go.
If he doesn’t reply and you wake up filled with shame and regret, don’t be. Sex is sex, there is nothing wrong with wanting a cheeky shag. Do not apologise for texting him, it’s actually a compliment that in your deep state of being white girl wasted you wanted to bang him. His loss if he doesn’t reply. If you’re overwhelmed with drunk fear, before you stress yourself out too much, delete the messages so there is no physical evidence on your phone. If questioned about it, blame it on your drunk slutty alter ego and talk about her in the 3rd person so it’s very clear that it was not you.
The lines between liking someone and liking what they do in the bedroom can get blurred while consuming alcohol; a booty call is just a booty call. It is easy, fun and there should be no strings attached.