Stereotyping is unhelpful. We all know that. Particularly when us girls are all so fabulous and individual and
1. The boss
There’s no denying it, this girl is top dog in your female posse. There are no characteristics visible to the naked eye to indicate that she’s in charge, and yet somehow they all know. Be it club
2. The Yes- man
This girl will say yes to anything. Well, maybe not ANYTHING… But whatever plan she’s the first to R.S.V.P, the first to turn up and the very last to leave. In other words, you can count on this gal to be there rain or shine – to the festival you’ve been dying to go to, or the bikini shop in March that seems so necessary the minute the sun rears its ugly head for more than a millisecond. Her ‘YOLO’ attitude is bloody fantastic for everyone except her parents, who might be slightly fed up with bailing her out of her overdraft. Who needs a good
It’s been a while since you’ve all seen each other. And for some of your friends you’re struggling to remember their last name, let alone the status of boyfriend no.4 (or was it no.5..?) “Oh you’re single now? Sh*t, sorry!”. Yet somehow, you’re all entirely clued up on the comings and goings of this girl’s life; her newly sprouted bunions, every sexcapade she’s ever had, and her boyfriend’s brother’s hamster’s maiden name. She’s definitely given you all something to talk about, forcing a bond based on your
4. The Ghost
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6. The Biatch
Note: To be clearly distinguished from the simplified, offensive, and altogether less refined ‘Bitch’ title. Straightforward and bullsh*t-proof; you’re usually waiting for this girl to voice a harsh truth that’s waiting to come out. And you’ll look around and notice that everyone else is too. The girl that’s had one Sambuca too many, or the chick that’s hogged centre-stage at the fanny fest for a little too long, you can guarantee the biatch will call them out about it. Ready or not, she will supply the home truths, and provide a bit of much needed perspective sometimes. No, those
7. The mama
When sh*t’s going down, there’s one girl you can count on in the group to calm the flock, and that’s the mama. Usually the position is occupied by the more bustier of ladies, where a comfort-nestle in the lady lumps is both plausible, and sometimes essential. You feel at home around this girl, she’s always around to listen to your problems, and doesn’t object too hard when you are hit by an uncontrollable urge to grab and squeeze her face. No matter what, you’re somehow okay with your comparitive and well-deserved oddball status – there’s no judgment from this girl. In fact, she’s not got a bad word to say about anyone, and is a self confessed middleman with regard to disputes within in the group. This can be frustrating, but can also act as a blessed relief when the rest of the spirited females are adding in their vociferous ten cents to the conversation.
8. The fountain of all knowledge
Question about politics? Faced with ill-informed opinions on current affairs? In need of a dignified member of pub quiz team? Have no fear, the fountain of all knowledge is here. You all went to the same school, your levels of education are undoubtedly similar, yet none of you have any qualms about handing over intellectual superiority to this lucky lady. She just seems to have all the answers, and thank God, because the rest of you seem to struggle with the simplest of problems, I mean, how DO you cook rice anyway? And why IS the sea salty? For all you know, she could be making it all up, but its bloody convincing, and you don’t mind pretending to be cultured for a while as she talks about something you don’t really understand.
9. The joker
She’ll force you to a stage where you’ve been laughing for a solid ten minutes; like side splitting, actual PHYSICAL-pain-inducing, Tena-Lady-requiring fits of laughter. And why? GOD KNOWS. You vaguely remember something about a leaf that resembled a pair of boobs. It might not be the most high-brow of humour, but REGARDLESS. You’re on the floor, and you’re not sure you can move from this spot for a while. As time has almost certainly begun to suggest, this friend will probably never ever change, thank the lord.
Photo credit: tumblr.com, clearmindco.co.uk