The January sales are an absolute must for any shopaholic, so we’ve put together a relatable list of the ten stages we all go through at this time, every single year.
1) Disbelief
How is it already the second week of January, it was only Boxing Day like yesterday, wasn’t it? The sales probably haven’t even started yet. I’m still pretty early, it’s not like it’s February.
2) Denial
Ok, so the sales have started. Nevertheless, there will be some beautiful bargains awaiting me within these heaps of fabric to create the perfect ‘new year, new me’ image.
3) Panic
How is there nothing that fits me? Have all the people in the world suddenly become the same clothes size?
4) Competitiveness
I haven’t felt this competitive since I was on the Year 9 netball team. That girl over there has a top in my size. How subtle would it be for me to run over and snatch it? Nobody would notice.
5) Desperation
Ok, well I’ll never wear it in a million years and it kind of looks like a sack, but its reduced from £100 to £20 so it’s worth it. Maybe it’ll come into fashion next season?
6) Refuge
The Fully priced section. It’s so neat and shiny. I’ve seen that dress in a magazine and the customer assistants are smiling. Maybe just a peak to see what’s fashionable.
7) Alarm
How have I spent so much money, that’s like a third of this term’s loan. Can I take some of it back? Nope, it is non-refundable.
8) Acceptance
Never mind, that leopard print onesie is rather funny and I’ll wear it all the time. At least it’s all over now.
9) Promise
Next year you will hit the sales earlier and have a comprehensive list of things you need to buy. You shall be as organised as Monica from Friends and come back with things this year’s self could only have dreamed of.
10) Reality
Or you might just do shopping online in bed like everybody else does.
Happy January sales shopping girls!