This my first official article, and due to a lack of sincere inspiration this week and the lack of any mind-blowing thoughts that are going to change the world, I will be writing about an event called Cornage, simply because yesterday I picked up my t-shirt from FXU.
I think honesty is important, and so I’ll admit that it wasn’t until yesterday that I discovered what Cornage even meant: I genuinely believed that it was a kind of corn festival, so I was rather surprised at its popularity. Like, I suppose corn is all good, but I didn’t expect university students to be so excited for it and want t-shirts. It all seemd a bit strange. But yesterday I had a rare brainwave, and discovered that the name Cornage is a compound of ‘carnage’ and ‘Cornwall’ – a very obvious deduction I imagine everyone else figured out upon their first look at the name, and not after two weeks.
Cornage, for those of you who aren’t aware, is an intersociety pub crawl hosted by the English, Geography, History and Politics societies, and it includes a series of challenges, which are printed on the back of the Cornage t-shirts – the obligatory uniform of the pub crawl, if you want to get the special drink discounts in the pubs along the way.
Anyway, I thought it would be even more fun if those going to Cornage made up their own challenges to go with the ones already set, and mutilated their friends £3 t-shirts with these profane challenges that will be sure to embarass everyone and anyone. Here are my suggestions:
#1: Pole dance around every lampost
The best thing about this suggestion, in my opinion, is that it is gender neutral. Obviously I would suggest that the pole dancer has a few drinks in them first – there is no worse sight than a sober person pole dancing and them actually being good at it; no one wants to laugh at that.
#2: Make a bouncer laugh
This is made all the more interesting by the fact that you choose which club bouncer the victim has to make laugh. For those who know the bars and clubs and are regulars on a night out in Falmouth, they can make this as difficult or easy as they so desire.
#3: Order the unspeakable
My final suggestion is not for the fainthearted and only the strongest and most experienced have the courage to undertake a challenge such as this. The challenge I am speaking of concerns a place called Wetherspoons that a few students may possibly know. The challenge, dare I say it, is to go into Spoons and ask for a pitcher of whatever you like. But to ask for it without ICE! This is a challenge I have not seen undertaken by anyone, I would be fascinated to see the result, if they would even get rid of the ice or simply refuse throw you out and whip you down the street. Or if they would remove the ice and then you would have the pleasure of drinking a paddling pool of a drink.
I expect Cornage will be an interesting night – check out the Facebook event page here – and enjoy the rest of your week!