From my senior year of high school until second semester of my sophomore year in college I was in a long term and long distance relationship. It was definitely my first real love and serious relationship I had been in. I was in love with him, his family, and the life we envisioned together. Although there were so many downsides to long distance, it was always pretty magical being able to go on trips and vacations to be with each other. I was wrapped up in this for such a long time that I realized I wasn’t enjoying my everyday life anymore, or living to my fullest potential because I was always hoping and wishing for the days to pass so I could be with him again. I noticed I barely knew anyone at my college, I wasn’t reaching out or even saying hi to many people because I always felt guilty about it. There was so much I was missing out on including going out or to special events because I was staying in to facetime my boyfriend, and that really who I wanted to be. Ever since the relationship ended, I feel like I have completely opened myself up to the world again, where I am ready to say yes to life, and learn and experience new things everyday.
- I never want to live another day waiting or wishing it away for someone else
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Everyday has the smallest adventures and moments to cherish. Now that I’m not waiting around for the next trip, facetime, or text I am experiencing so much more than ever before. I’m going out with my friends all the time, taking advantage of everything my school and town has to offer, and reaching out to people I had never talked to before. I think I’ve made more friends and connections in the past couple months than I have my entire time at Endicott.
- I am happy on my own and doing my own thing
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I’ve always been in relationships, probably since middle school, because I’ve always loved having someone there for me and someone I can rely on. I felt like I needed to have one person to tell all my secrets and thoughts to, or someone to comfort and lift me up when I’m down. It’s nice to have all these things and you should, but I realized it doesn’t have to be from a man. I have my family and my friends by my side always, and I know myself enough to know what I need and like to be happy.
- Dating around is FUN
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I think I’ve been tied down to one person for so long that I forgot what it was like to be with or talk to other people. I’ve realized how different everyone can be, and how many different personalities and qualities others may have that I have never experienced before. There are probably so many things out there that I don’t even know I like, but experiencing life with new people can bring me knowledge about myself and others I never got to see before. I love experiencing and talking to new people, it just expands my perspective and shapes my experiences in a new way. I’m seeing more of what life has to offer.
- I can focus on ME
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When in a relationship I was constantly worrying about my boyfriend, making sure he was okay, that we were okay, and checking in all the time. I think I was putting in so much of my energy to him, that I was forgetting about my own mental health sometimes. Now, I am always doing things for me and to make me happy without having to worry about anyone else. It’s insane how much time I’ve had to think and reflect, and just have me time. It was like I lost who I was for so long I missed my happy self, and now I get her back :)
At the end of the day, I will never regret being in my past long term relationship, but I also don’t think I will ever regret the breakup. Everyone needs a chance to grow on their own, and find themselves before setting down. How will you ever know everything you want and need if you are tied down to one person during your whole young adulthood? This is definitely a time of change, growth, and experience for me and I’m happier and more excited than I have ever been.