This is all I have to say: Wow. My first year of college is basically over. I only feel like it’s right to do this recap to show how much I have grown. I have not only grown as a student, but also as an individual. Growing came with so much that I had to give in order to gain. Looking back at this first year, let’s go back to the beginning and look at the key moments that made me the person I am today.
On Saturday, August 28, 2021, I moved into school. It wasn’t until I got to my room that I started to become scared to leave my parents. My roommate and I had been in contact all summer and were finally ready to move in. We spent most of the day getting settled in the room and putting everything together. When we went to the field to do the welcome ceremony, that was when I started to break. I then said goodbye to my parents. That was the first time I had to say goodbye. I had never been away from home for more than a week, and I was basically moved out from home and was starting on my own. Those next five days were some of the best days. I became really close with my orientation group, met some of my closest friends, and spent many hours at the beach.
The first week of classes really pushed me. After I went back to my room and had three projects, a paper, and a textbook reading due two days later. That was when it all started. Mentally, I was being pushed more than I had ever been. Academics were never easy for me; I had always struggled with reading comprehension, feeling like I was behind everybody else. Being in college, I didn’t think I would have access to tutors and people who could help me with this. During my second week of classes, my high school accommodations finally reached college. I was able to get the help I needed so I could manage myself academically. Ever since then, I have been using time management and other study strategies to maintain good grades, a strong social life, and save myself mentally.
The first two weeks of school were such a dream. The Campus Activities Board had so many events going on; glow in the dark BINGO at the field house, craft nights, and did a few raffles. We had a Friday Night Lights football game against WPI. WPI is more in my neck of the woods, so I was able to see a couple of my friends from home. Friday Night Lights in high school were always such a rush. Let me say this: they’re so much better in college. The theme was white-out. That was the night I made some real friends. We were down by two touchdowns going into the last quarter of the game, but on a 70-yard pass to the endzone, it was a win for the gulls. I will never forget the feeling of being with people who understood football and were just as excited as I was. That night was also the night I met my first friend group.
I loved my first friend group. I thought they were my people and it made me so excited to have a group of friends to be able to do everything with. It started with going to every meal, having gym friends, and just having people to go out with. We went off campus a lot to go shopping, go to Bruins games, and go to get food. I wouldn’t change anything about these friends I had, but when I was going through some personal stuff, I wasn’t getting the support I needed. I felt alone and then the next thing I knew, I was alone.
Let me go back and talk about what I was going through. I had previously written an article about my experience on dating apps, and that played a big role in my first semester of college. There was this one boy I met and I thought he completely changed my life. But he wasn’t there for the right reasons. When I was going through my personal issues, I had never felt so alone. I would cry myself to sleep every single night and wouldn’t want to do anything during the day. I promised myself I would never let anyone impact me when it comes to school work, but I felt myself slacking for a couple of weeks because everything in my head was so much for me to go through on my own. This was the first time I felt like I was depressed at school. I had zero motivation and was slowly losing faith in myself.
But then a switch flipped and I got myself back in gear. I started pushing myself. I was going to the gym once a day for about 90 minutes, putting good food into my body, and taking time for myself. Although I wish I started those things sooner, I’m glad it took a little push before I was able to do those things for myself.
While I was going through all of this on my own, I started hanging out with some new friends. These two friends were in all of my classes and they had invited me to dinner one night. And the rest was history. They’re now my best friends and my future roommates. I love my friends and they’ve been there for me through it all. I’m so beyond grateful for them and the impact they’ve had on me throughout school.
During my winter break, I took a lot of time for myself. I was working, did some home projects, and kept up with my social life. I was working a few shifts a week to stay busy. I completely changed my room and my brother’s rooms. Painted, got some new furniture, and changed everything. That was a really good project because it kept me busy for a while. I was able to spend time with my home friends who were still in high school.
When I came back to school in January, I really got myself into shape with school work, my social life, and my personal health. My mental health was in such a good place and I really knew I had to work on myself.
My second-semester classes were really tough to start, but I was so ready for a challenge. I felt like I was able to really focus and work on the reason I was at school.
When most people move into school in the fall, they’re really homesick. That wasn’t the case for me. The second semester was very difficult for me. I didn’t want to be at school anymore. I didn’t want to feel alone. I didn’t want to be away from home and my parents. I would cry myself to sleep every single night and wouldn’t eat for long periods of time. I would distance myself from my friends because I was depressed and wanted to be alone; but when I was alone, I would just cry and wish I was at home. My parents made a deal with me and told me that if I stayed at school during the week and worked hard in my classes, I could come home on the weekends and they would bring me back. I ended up going home about every other weekend which was good for my mental health.
I then received an opportunity to become an RA for the next year. I was super skeptical of it at first because I kept thinking “how can I be there for other people when I can’t be there for myself?” so I reached out to Residence Life and explained my situation. They were able to let me live with my two best friends so I didn’t have to be alone. FOr the 2022-23 academic school year, I will be an RA in an upperclassmen building. I have never been so excited. It will help me stay at school and make sure I am staying on top of all my school work.
As I mentioned before, I have the best friends anybody could want. One of them is from Maine and the other is from New Jersey. I have gone up to Maine a couple of times on the weekends and stayed over, and they’ve come home with me once. I’m so beyond grateful to have them. We’ve gone to a concert, spent so many days together, and will be living together next year.
The best thing that has happened to me this year was something I didn’t expect to happen. During my spring break, my brother had a performance at Carnegie Hall in NYC, and I wasn’t going to go but decided last minute to go. That’s how I met my boyfriend. I can easily say that my boyfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He will be getting his own article in the future, but I’ll keep this part short. He has shown me what it looks like to feel loved and appreciated. For as long as we can see, we will be long distance. But that doesn’t impact how I see him and love him. We have plans and I couldn’t be more excited to be going on this journey with him because he’s everything to me. I can easily say he’s the person I want to be with. Ever since he came into my life, I have been so much happier, my motivation to do school has increased, and now I have something to look forward to when I get to see him.
Today is Wednesday, May 4, 2022. I officially have one week left. I pack up and leave in one week. 7 more sleeps until year one is done.
I am currently sitting in the studio typing right now. Looking back at this year, there is nothing I would change. My academics were so strong, I maintained a solid social life, and I was able to help my mental health grow and be more independent. This year has pushed me to new limits I didn’t know I had. I took risks. I did things. I saw things. I had new experiences. I’m so grateful for everything that was given to me this year and now I get to look forward to next year and everything it has to offer for me.
EC, this first year’s been real. Keep it coming. I can take it.
Until next time,
Xoxo,
Sammie<3