A Letter to the Boy Next Door
I can’t sleep because I’m busy thinking about what we’ve discussed.
We talked about friendships and being more but not in a relationship. I don’t know what to title the “more but not a relationship” category, but I think it’s like being romantically involved without being official. Which kinda seems stupid to me but I suppose I could try it.
I wish you would just come out and say whether you like me or not or even if you’re attracted to me. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want a relationship right now, you can still say whether you like me or not. My issue is are you going to be blocking yourself or putting up walls if we hang out because you’re completely unwilling to take a chance on a relationship. What if we get super close and you develop feelings for me, whether you have them now or not. What happens then?
Also if we do decide we want to hang out as more than friends without the label would we be exclusive cause that’s a thing too. You don’t have to be dating officially to be exclusive. I know this seems like a lot but I’m just trying to do what you’re doing and do what’s best for me by protecting my heart. One of my most endearing but also frustrating traits is I get invested in someone too quickly and often it ends up hurting me.
I love friendships too. I would like to keep ours going, but part of me will probably always want more from it. I never expected to like you more than just the “boy-next-door” honestly but I felt like this instant connection that probably only I felt but either way it attracted me to you. I just don’t want you to rule out anything because if I put my effort into our whatever this is I want to know you’re open to whatever this becomes, if anything. If you feel feelings I want to know. The last thing I want to do is make you feel like you have no freedom or you’re losing your me time. I’m supposed to add to your life (or at least I want to) and make you feel happy to have someone along for the ride rather than subtract from it and make you resent me.
I know you don’t want a relationship, or you rather won’t let yourself have one for whatever reason, but I will be here. I’m not moving- physically, mentally, or emotionally. I want to continue whatever this is and see where it goes. I respect you. I hope you feel the same.
I just hope that you will be open to and receptive to wherever this road takes us. I will always be open and honest with you and I hope for the same in return.