What does it mean to call someone your friend?
To me, sacrifice is the key element to friendship. Drawing on Aristotelian logic, sacrifices can be split into two categories. Aristotle distinguished between two types of acts: those that are means to ends, and those that are ends themselves. Acts of sacrifice fall within this dichotomy. You can sacrifice for the sake of something else, or for the sake of the sacrifice itself. While both types are necessary in establishing healthy bonds, I believe the latter truly defines a profound, meaningful friendship.
For instance, at camp, we had an event called “lip sync.” Each bunk had to collaborate and choreograph a dance to a song. Rather than stubbornly adhering to a specific move I wanted to incorporate, I would sacrifice my opinion for the sake of getting our dance done on time and letting everyone be heard. This type of sacrifice would be an example of a ‘means to ends’ kind of sacrifice. Although it still promotes cohesion and productivity, it is less genuine than an altruistic sacrifice.
An example of a sacrifice that is an end itself happened on a long bus ride back from to camp from Montreal. It was the middle of the night, and we were all sitting on a seven-hour bus ride. Everyone was exhausted from the trip and most girls were sleeping heavily. Although I struggled to keep my eyes open, I knew I had to make progress on my summer reading, as the start of school was approaching. One of my best friends, who was just as tired as I was, did not sleep either. Instead, she stayed up, fixed her camera light on my book, and read aloud to me. Despite her fatigue and the darkness, she plowed through chapter after chapter, just for me. This was an instance that exemplifies the latter type of sacrifice. Nothing was in it for her; her generous actions came from the purest place of friendship possible. This was a clarifying moment to me, because it offered me deep insight into my understanding of true friendship.
Forming these relationships not only enabled me to better understand love, but also strengthened my confidence and heightened my own sense of self. The renowned German philosopher Nietzsche wrote about how self-consciousness must be examined in social settings, suggesting that gaining awareness of one’s own self stems from interactions with others. While I do not mean to suggest that self-consciousness and self confidence are interchangeable, the former does make up the latter. Thus, the friendships I formed actually facilitated my own self-discovery. The closer I grew with my bunkmates, the closer I grew with myself.
As a result of this newfound understanding, I felt more aware of my presence and better understood my character. Consequently, I grew more confident. Such confidence was a commonplace trait within our camp community. We were taught to be accepting and respectful of others, which encouraged people to take more risks as they were not afraid to fail. The camp also instilled this sense of confidence within the campers was through the way they embraced silliness. We participated in various activities that ranged from dressing up in ridiculous outfits to singing nonsensical lyrics, all of which boosted our self esteems. While these activities may seem silly on the surface, they were truly liberating. As we embraced our childish ways, I believe we were simultaneously maturing. The confidence that camp fostered within us enabled us to get in touch with different parts of ourselves that we perhaps don’t showcase on a daily basis, which fostered a sense of harmony within each individual.