Let’s be real. Pink, textured taglines of ‘Love Knows No Distance’ and ‘Distance means so little when someone means so much’ can look really good on your Pinterest board but they’re a lot easier to preach than to practice. When you are countries, continents, and oceans apart from your significant other, it’s not the distance that you start to hate, it’s the want for their time. Hectic schedules, vastly different time-zones, and weekly social obligations leave very little time for real, meaningful conversations. Every relationship is unique, but here are a couple things that need to be on your LDR Guidebook.
1. Be their alarm clock
One of the most effective techniques to incorporate intimacy over the phone is to be the first voice they hear in the morning. Wake the other person up for class or work or wherever they’re headed to, and you will be the reason their day is off to a great start. Your conversations need not last longer than a couple of minutes but a simple ‘good morning’, and repeated ‘get out of bed’ (because when has just one been enough?) can bring a drooling smile to their groggy, morning face.
2. Beware the adventurous LDR challenges online –
There are multiple websites and blogs that share challenges on how to make long-distance relationships work, but they are often very situational and not suitable for all types of couples. I once came across a 10-Day challenge that asked the couple to block all modes of contact between them for ten days – that meant no calling, no texting and no looking up or responding to each other’s social media. On the advent of the 11th day, both partners would resume communication, and repeat the cycle on a periodic basis. The point behind all of this is to fill yourself up with so much bubbling energy and things you want to talk about for ten whole days, that from the 11th day onwards, your conversations with your SO will be a lot more exciting and devoid of any ‘awkward silences’. My long-distance boyfriend and I almost went ahead with this challenge, but three hours into saying our goodbyes for that week, I said, ‘You know what, let’s take a rain check’. I realized that only those couples who have been together for a substantial amount of time may be up to this challenge because the foundation of their relationship is already concrete. But for two people who have gotten close only over the summer and who impetuously decided to jump into an LDR, communication is the only thing holding them together. If communication is taken away from them, they’ll probably realize too soon that they’re doing absolutely fine without the other and their SO offers no added value to their life. So before you try to be excessively daring or want to follow any of these ‘quick tips’ take a long, hard look into the kind of people and relationship you’re dealing with, and then make an informed decision.
3. A little bit of cheese never hurt anybody
Everybody likes to know that they’re being thought of. So don’t hesitate to send them a card or flowers or anything of significance to your partner, especially when they’re going through a rough time. Send a care-package, or their favourite kind of cookies, or the perfume that they like best on you so they can smell you from 8216 miles away. But REMEMBER to keep it low-key, without feeling the need to exceed your budget. It’s the thought that counts, not the price at which you buy the thing. They’ll probably appreciate a little, hand-written note a lot more than a watch worth a hundred bucks.
Let the distance inspire the Da Vinci in you. You can be as creative as you want – you can choose your level of fancy or basic, but just remember to be real. You want to do something that reminds your SO of you, not some Tumblr-inspired, polaroid-ready girlfriend in an oversized-sweatshirt. Allocate a decent amount of your week to FaceTime conversations, and involve each other in your daily, mundane activities like brushing your teeth, cooking your dinner, putting your make-up on, etc so that both of you can feel as close to home as possible.