Well, it wasn’t totally by accident – but it was definitely not what I expected.
Ahhh, Fiji. The fancy water brand. The location everyone chooses when playing M.A.S.H. The gorgeous landscape where you watched so many people suffer on Survivor. A true dreamland. Yes, it was stunning and breathtaking with its warm weather, crystal clear water, and lovely people who operate on Fiji time. For a New Yorker like me, everyone moving at the pace of the sloths from Zootopia was something to get used to. But you didn’t come here to learn about the palm trees and fresh fruit. You came to hear about that time I almost tumbled off the highest mountain in Fiji…
We traveled in a group of twelve, so only a few people carried the weight of planning our excursions. A friend of mine, an avid hiker, was keen on us doing what was supposed to be a beautiful volcanic hike. He had read about this particular hike online and me, having adopted a chill and go-with-the-flow abroad mentality, didn’t ask any questions. Now, I wonder – did he find this hike in the depths of a Reddit hole of darkness? Perhaps. We may never know. Anyway, we all paid my friend a little less than $50 each and all we knew was that he booked a van with a driver from a private taxi service to take us to, in his words, “a five hour super cool volcano hike” on the first day of the trip.
Friday morning rolled around and we left the hotel at approximately 6 in the morning. We take all piled in the van and watched the Fiji sunrise out the window. Sure, I was squished in the back row with four people, but, as I said, chill and go-with-the-flow abroad mentality. Pure bliss.
Then it got a tad… fishy. As our driver was blasting an American pop playlist full of songs like “My Neck, My Back” that he seemed to have curated for our demographic as annoying American teenagers, (A nice gesture? Kind of like a backhanded compliment?) he informed us that he had never driven this route before. We grew a tad concerned because we figured the “super cool volcano hike” would have been a hot spot for tourists. After our driver stopped to ask some locals for directions about five times, we realized that we were probably doomed.
Now let’s fast forward through some outdoor bathroom breaks and fears about our van meandering off the winding roads and possibly flying off a cliff or two. After approximately four hours of driving, we made it to our destination. No parking lot. No ticketing booth. No sidewalk or path or pamphlet or guide or map or ANYTHING. You get the point. There was simply a charming Fijian village with giggling children. Our friend informed us that upon arrival we were to look for “the man with a machete,” provide him with a gift, and he would take us up the mountain. Yes, you read that right. So, we put our cash together, paid the man, boosted our morale, and exited the van with big smiles.
We were about a half-hour in and all of a sudden I noticed a little boy, around 11 years old, tagging along. I thought, “aw cute!” Another half-hour went by and the hike started to get way steeper and the weather got way more foreboding. The man with the machete looked back and informed us that not everyone would make it to the top as he always has to take someone down. I thought, “strange comment!” But, he was right and we soon lost a friend who panicked at the sight of the straight uphill hike. You’re thinking that the hike sounds okay, right? What’s a little extra cardio? WRONG. The man with a machete left us alone while he took our scared friend back to the village and never returned. Guess who was our new leader? Correct, it was the cute 11-year-old boy named Joseph.
Remember those big smiles? And that tamed hair? Well here I am once the rain started and the hike became full-on vertical rock climbing with no harness or safety features. Yeah, I couldn’t hold my backpack or my phone due to the severity of the focus I needed to use in order to NOT DIE.
A few more hours passed and I made peace with dying on this mountain. It was slippery and I was using muscles that I have never used before. Joseph was shyly laughing at our incompetence and informed us of the many people who have broken limbs on this hike and there was nothing to do besides complete the hike with a broken leg. What got us through was the promising gorgeous view from the top of the highest mountain in Fiji. So now you want to see the view, right? Well, check it out. You’re supposed to see every peak and valley of Nadi, Fiji.
Pure white. Do you guys see a beautiful view? No. Pure white fog.
At least we made peanut butter jelly sandwiches.
We gathered at the top and cheered that we made it alive. The way down wouldn’t dare be any worse. I trotted on right behind Joseph. I focused hard, placing one foot right behind the other, only grabbing stable branches, and sliding in the mud when it felt safer than walking. Well, my cockiness got the best of me – I misstepped, flipped over, and flew face-first into a bush. A bush that was on a small cliff. A cliff that I was hanging off of. I was being supported by a single branch. Luckily, a dear friend pulled me back up. Oh, how I wish I had a photo for proof. What I do have is a photo, which I will not share here, of the giant bruise on my butt.
Well guys, I made it. I actually made it back down. Five hours later. I lost no limbs, just a pair of sneakers. And to my knowledge, there was no volcano.
You might be wondering what I learned from this experience. You might be wondering if I still talk to my friend who planned this. When people say “abroad changes you”, they’re right. It changes you because you step outside of your comfort zone whether you like it or not. It changes you because you accomplish things you thought you never would or could. For example, I left Fiji and debated trying out for Survivor. Okay, let’s not get carried away. Think of it this way, when you skydive, you know that you’re jumping out of a plane. When you think you’re going on a casual hike and you almost fall off a cliff, you have to figure it out. I guess I just figured it out!
If you think I’m being dramatic, which I absolutely am not, please do your research on Mount Tomanivi.